Why Mr. Big wouldn’t stand a chance

January 5, 2011 at 1:13 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Love, Dating & Relationships | Leave a comment

A couple of days ago Awesomely Luvvie started a twitter discussion about the Mr. Bigs of the world, “Has anyone married their Mr. Big?” she asked. Lots of babies by Bigs, but no marriages. Only Carrie. I’ve participated in this type of discussion before and have been blown away that so many women actually romanticize and have or had a Mr. Big in their lives to begin with. Were they watching the same show I was? Did they negate that he treated Carrie like dirt and she chased after him like a pathetic lost puppy? I think Big just got tired of running to tell you the truth. (Wasn’t he like 96 or something?) That woman was relentless! Geez!

I know any given situation is based on perception and perceptions differ between individuals but wrong is wrong. And Mr. Big was not Mr. Right. BasseyWorldLive doesn’t endorse Big but said a lot of women romanticize the lifestyle. That’s understandable. I’ll take the lifestyle, I’ll pass on that kind of man. If I have to debase myself for that kind of love, you can keep it. But then again what’s love got to do with it? Last time I checked love don’t live here anymore doesn’t leave you standing at the alter because an ego needed stroking 5 minutes before he was supposed to walk you down the aisle. That can’t be it.

Continue Reading Why Mr. Big wouldn’t stand a chance…


This is Life or Death: Women start taking your sexual health seriously!

December 11, 2010 at 5:21 PM | Posted in Health, Hot Sex on Fire, Love, Dating & Relationships | Leave a comment

Many an HIV spokesperson say it was “only one time” of unprotected sex. Friends have admitted they haven’t been to the gyno in years or ever, and I have heard of a colposcopy that had not been done years after the gyno recommended one. I have but one question. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?????
I don’t know why more care is being taken to polish up the outside of female bodies rather than the inside. And the inside is what can kill you. A pap smear can detect abnormal cervical changes before they become cancerous. Did you know that you need to have a pap smear at age 21, or after you become sexually active? This applies to all of you reading. Do it now. Do it now. Do it now.

Elizabeth Edwards (R.I.P) said she let down her family and the country by neglecting to get mammograms that could have caught her cancer earlier. She said she didn’t, and by the time she felt a lump in her breast in 2004 and was able to get it removed, it had grown to nine centimeters and the cancer had spread elsewhere. She said she did not have to be in this situation. Early detection is still crucial in breast cancer survival. I remember figuratively beating my mother over the head to get one, I even sent her a mammogram reminder in the mail. She went. She said it felt good. She’s weird. Anyway, I don’t care if there’s “debate” over the “right age” to get a mammogram, you are the only person responsible for your life so start acting like it. Regular self breast examinations before age 40 are a must and do it often.
Continue Reading This is Life or Death: Women start taking your sexual health seriously!…

The little things that never get old

November 16, 2010 at 10:50 PM | Posted in Abs Fab, Love, Dating & Relationships | 3 Comments

Smiling into the phone when I call

Letting me sleep through our plans because I’m dead dog tired from the workweek

Making me get up to carry out our plans because I slept through them last week

Opening my door

Hanging your mouth in shock at the height of my heels and then…

Rubbing my feet

Reading my blog and never commenting

Restoring peace to the chinese restaurant after my white rice order was messed up

Making fun of me with my friends

Good night and good morning texts

Sharing your food

Helping me move. Twice.

Sheltering me from the rain

Laughing hysterically with me until my stomach hurts and I can’t breathe or see through my tears

Loverlies, what are some of the little things that never get old to you? Sharing is caring. I’m waiting.

Ladies, you have ‘The Treasure’ so what’s the problem?

November 9, 2010 at 7:30 PM | Posted in Boys! Boys! Boys!, Don't be a Dummy, Love, Dating & Relationships | 27 Comments

I found ’em y’all! Yup! I found the culprits! I caught ’em! I caught ’em in action! I ran out of the store and into Beeb’s car. He was cracking up. “What’s so funny?” I asked. He pointed at a group of men on the corner. “Them. They’re posted up hollering at every girl that goes by.” We spent the next five minutes parked watching them in action, uproariously laughing and pointing with the window open. If you know me, I have an unapologetically loud laugh. Some of the men saw what we were doing and were shamed into leaving. Others remained to try their luck because they knew just one woman had to respond to their advances. That one woman who let some men think it’s acceptable to “pssssttt” at me on the street. The ones who oblige the demands for a number after the “psssssst.” The ones who engaged in the drama and entertained his calls and left me to ignore him when I lost his number after I said I would and oh yea the ones who cleared their schedule every time he wanted to “chill,” I’m appalled at your behavior. It’s all your fault!

Speaking of chill, going to your home to watch a movie is not a date. No. It’s not. Thanks to you, this fool over here certainly thinks it does. His taken aback look explains it all. You women have agreed to this “date request” and it has worked very well for him over these few years. ‘Til now. Sir, please call me back when you have come up with acceptable date plans. He never called back. He found someone who accepted his original one. So it continues. I’m looking at the woman who doesn’t recognize her worth and settles for the lowest common denominator when she needn’t. Why? Because she has something. The Treasure.

Continue Reading Ladies, you have ‘The Treasure’ so what’s the problem?…

“Only about 3 percent of the 4,000 mammal species are monogamous (and Homo sapiens isn’t one of them)”

August 18, 2010 at 11:58 AM | Posted in Love, Dating & Relationships | 12 Comments

I have been pondering the institution of marriage since I saw the Disney movie “Earth.” The movie follows a family of humpback whales, a polar bear father on the quest for food and a herd of elephants making a long migration, among others. The movie was beautiful but there was one nagging pervading behavior among all the male animals, they impregnated and jetted. Except the male penguin, who protected the egg while the female went to find food and vice-versa, the penguin relationship seemed to be coequal as far as the movie depicted but the other animal relationships weren’t. That got me thinking, if humans are so similar to animals and they can’t even get fidelity right, how are we supposed to? Is infidelity inherent? Is the monogamy of marriage a myth?

An insightful excerpt from Dr. Louann Brizendine’s, book “The Female Brain” characterizes some lizards are predisposed life-long bachelors and the same can be attributed to some human males.

One of the most colorful examples of animal tactics is provided by the side-blotched lizard (Uta stansburiana). Conveniently, the males come with three different colored throats that match their mating-styles. Males with orange throats use the alpha-male harem strategy. They guard a group of females and mate with all of them. The males with yellow throats are called “sneakers” because they slip into the harem of the orange throat and mate with his females whenever they can get away with it. The males with brilliant blue throats – my personal favorites — use the one-and-only-strategy. They mate with one female and guard her 24-7. From a biological perspective, the approaches of the orange-throated harem leader, the yellow-throated sneaker and the blue-throated one-female type are all successful mating strategies for lizards and for human males too.

Very interesting and I personally believe this to be true. Ladies, some wild boys just can’t be tamed, so let it go.
Continue Reading “Only about 3 percent of the 4,000 mammal species are monogamous (and Homo sapiens isn’t one of them)”…

Guys, please stop harassing women

August 3, 2010 at 11:08 AM | Posted in Boys! Boys! Boys!, Don't be a Dummy, I have had enough, Love, Dating & Relationships | 8 Comments

I can be unreasonable at times, I freely and generously admit that, especially when it comes to men approaching women on the street. I would rather it never happen but I don’t expect everyone to  be a genius think like me, but if you do decide to cross that line, tread carefully, men. Very, very carefully.

If you want to “get to know her”….It is your responsibility to make her feel as comfortable as humanely possible. YES, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
In the words of Phaedra Starling: “…The first thing you need to understand is that women are dealing with a set of challenges and concerns that are strange to you, a man. To begin with, we would rather not be killed or otherwise violently assaulted…So when you,a stranger, approach me, I have to ask myself:Will this man rape me? Do you think I’m overreacting?” Bottom line. She doesn’t want to get raped. You don’t want to get maced. I personally would choose, the latter but as a woman I am forced to deal with the plausibility of the former.

Consider the time, place, and your actions.
Approaching a woman after hours on a dark street is not conducive to an easy number exchange. Some may ask well why is a woman even on the streets at these hours. Fair enough. But I don’t think having an X chromosome warrants a 9pm curfew. It’s unreasonable and downright sexist to suggest women should feel terror-stricken if she has to leave her home after it’s dark. I digress. Consider the time. Night time near an alleyway? Just keep it moving, I am telling you right now it’s not going to happen. While she’s on the phone? No sane woman will end her phone call to speak to a strange man who is commanding she tend to his needs and not her business. This is just ludicrous.

Expect her to reciprocate what you’re doling out.
You come at her crazy, expect an equal or greater crazy response. My bet’s on crazier.

She doesn’t have to say one blasted word to you
You. Are. A. Stranger. Repeat. Meditate on that phrase. We learned in kindergarten, to not speak to strangers and this still applies to a certain extent even into adulthood. Why does she have to speak to you just because you spoke to her? Human decency? Sure. But it’s her prerogative.

Talk to her not AT her.
There is a MAJOR difference between these two.

NO can never mean yes
She rolls her eyes. She doesn’t respond. She walks faster. Let it go. You win some, but you just lost one. Keep it moving. There is no reason to give chase, because…
Continue Reading Guys, please stop harassing women…

Ladies, sometimes you just gotta…SHUT UP!

July 27, 2010 at 12:37 PM | Posted in As A Man, Boys! Boys! Boys!, Love, Dating & Relationships | 5 Comments

Beeb and I were in the car in front of my place when I suddenly remembered I needed some lettuce and fruit for tomorrow’s green smoothie. I asked him to take me around to the local market to get them, at the exact moment it started pouring. He drove up as close as possible to the front of the market. I was gearing up to take an Olympic leap over the curb and dash straight in. I started in for the door handle as he opened his door, “I’ll get the umbrella in the trunk” he said. “Oh it’s ok, I’ll just run in, I—”
Continue Reading Ladies, sometimes you just gotta…SHUT UP!…

The stupid BS some guys do

July 8, 2010 at 2:16 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Boys! Boys! Boys!, Love, Dating & Relationships | 5 Comments

10. “And since a man can’t make one, [baby] he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one.”
My body. NOT yours. Thanks.

9. Not shutting up!
You can cause more harm by not quitting while you’re behind. You can win more battles by what you don’t say. If what is coming out of your mouth next borders on the unintelligible, PLEASE for the love of all that’s right in the world, just shut it!

8. Only dating the dregs of femalekind then lambasting ALL women as such
Slim Thug, I’m looking at you. I really can’t get offended anymore when men make these sweeping statements portraying all women in every negative light. I feel sorry for them because it speaks on how low they think of themselves to actually date and mate with these cretins.
Continue Reading The stupid BS some guys do…

“I can be bad all by myself” Yea…but why would you want to?

April 8, 2010 at 10:43 AM | Posted in Don't be a Dummy, Love, Dating & Relationships, Please don't be "that girl", Please don't be "that guy" | 2 Comments

@MrPeteyWheat: It’s all fun and games until there’s no one around to help you with the stroller down those 2 flights of steps.

“I need Daddy and Daddy needs me, it’s the only way this family can work.” -Madre

I can be bad all by myself. I take issue with that statement. I have a problem with it. We now live in a society where it is a constant battle of the sexes. It is an eternal back and forth between men and women on who needs the other less. I don’t need a man for this; I don’t need a woman for that. Truth is. Yes you do. I need people to understand men and women are different. We were created that way purposely. No one inferior than the other. Ying and yang. Harmony. Balance. We are equally important but NOT the same. (And to this end, double-standards will remain, but that’s another post for another time)

Humankind cannot survive without the womb and a woman’s womb cannot create without the man. By simple biology men and women need each other, so what makes any other aspect of life exempt from this idea?

Continue Reading “I can be bad all by myself” Yea…but why would you want to?…

“I could’ve married any one of my boyfriends”

March 17, 2010 at 3:18 PM | Posted in Don't be a Dummy, Love, Dating & Relationships, Please don't be "that girl", Please don't be "that guy" | 2 Comments

Yup… this was the response that shattered my deluded happily ever after picture of a soul-mate at the tender age of 15 years old.

My mother is da bomb ruthless.

I asked her one day on the way to the bus stop, grinning from ear to ear, “So how’d you know Daddy was “the one”? :head tilt, glossy eyes:

My mother responds by scrunching her face and shrugging. “I could’ve married any one of my boyfriends.”

Me: *Gasp!* :heart stops: You harlot!

Mother: Well, I mean all my boyfriends were great but Daddy had the same goals and vision that I did. Daddy’s great too though.

Me: You harlot!
Continue Reading “I could’ve married any one of my boyfriends”…

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