These men call BS on ‘Top 10: Things You Lose When You Commit’

January 24, 2011 at 2:16 PM | Posted in As A Man, Boys! Boys! Boys!, Don't be a Dummy | 3 Comments

I came across this article on AskMen.com about exactly what the name says. The things men lose when they enter a serious relationship.

This is it in list form:
10. Your female friends
9. Your weekends
8. Your casual fun
7. Your self-indulgences
6. Your exit
5. Your financial independence
4. Your options
3. Your own plans
2. Your space
1. Your identity

I asked the men of twitter and the majority disagreed. @InsanityReport said the article would be more accurately named ’10 Things Men Worry About Losing’ since it was written in such “a frat boy, amateurish way.” He went on to say some of the points in the article in a way made sense but “some of it isn’t necessarily bad or limited to just men but there are some things men fear losing.”

Continue Reading These men call BS on ‘Top 10: Things You Lose When You Commit’…

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Why Mr. Big wouldn’t stand a chance

January 5, 2011 at 1:13 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Love, Dating & Relationships | Leave a comment

A couple of days ago Awesomely Luvvie started a twitter discussion about the Mr. Bigs of the world, “Has anyone married their Mr. Big?” she asked. Lots of babies by Bigs, but no marriages. Only Carrie. I’ve participated in this type of discussion before and have been blown away that so many women actually romanticize and have or had a Mr. Big in their lives to begin with. Were they watching the same show I was? Did they negate that he treated Carrie like dirt and she chased after him like a pathetic lost puppy? I think Big just got tired of running to tell you the truth. (Wasn’t he like 96 or something?) That woman was relentless! Geez!

I know any given situation is based on perception and perceptions differ between individuals but wrong is wrong. And Mr. Big was not Mr. Right. BasseyWorldLive doesn’t endorse Big but said a lot of women romanticize the lifestyle. That’s understandable. I’ll take the lifestyle, I’ll pass on that kind of man. If I have to debase myself for that kind of love, you can keep it. But then again what’s love got to do with it? Last time I checked love don’t live here anymore doesn’t leave you standing at the alter because an ego needed stroking 5 minutes before he was supposed to walk you down the aisle. That can’t be it.

Continue Reading Why Mr. Big wouldn’t stand a chance…

Man exposes himself to woman in public…happens everyday

August 9, 2010 at 10:05 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man | 3 Comments

Read from bottom to top. I chronicle my third harrowing experience of a perverted scumbag exposing himself to me. A friend of mine pointed out it’s an issue of power. Another friend said to not respond because they want a reaction. I say mace them to smithereens. See below for a list of resources.


Mace is legal in all 50 states but there are restrictions: WomensLaw.org

I don’t recommend buying the gun shaped mace, but there is a myriad of mace options here

Stun guns are illegal in some states. It’s interesting to see stun guns are outlawed in many of the big cities where an individual would feel the need to carry a stun gun. Check to see if it’s legal in yours here

Stun gun FAQs

Find a self-defense class in your area here

Snap a pic of the perv and post at HollaBackNYC an organization dedicated to figuratively zapping these creeps. Oh, if only it could be done physically.

Ladies, sometimes you just gotta…SHUT UP!

July 27, 2010 at 12:37 PM | Posted in As A Man, Boys! Boys! Boys!, Love, Dating & Relationships | 5 Comments

Beeb and I were in the car in front of my place when I suddenly remembered I needed some lettuce and fruit for tomorrow’s green smoothie. I asked him to take me around to the local market to get them, at the exact moment it started pouring. He drove up as close as possible to the front of the market. I was gearing up to take an Olympic leap over the curb and dash straight in. I started in for the door handle as he opened his door, “I’ll get the umbrella in the trunk” he said. “Oh it’s ok, I’ll just run in, I—”
Continue Reading Ladies, sometimes you just gotta…SHUT UP!…

The stupid BS some guys do

July 8, 2010 at 2:16 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Boys! Boys! Boys!, Love, Dating & Relationships | 5 Comments

10. “And since a man can’t make one, [baby] he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one.”
My body. NOT yours. Thanks.

9. Not shutting up!
You can cause more harm by not quitting while you’re behind. You can win more battles by what you don’t say. If what is coming out of your mouth next borders on the unintelligible, PLEASE for the love of all that’s right in the world, just shut it!

8. Only dating the dregs of femalekind then lambasting ALL women as such
Slim Thug, I’m looking at you. I really can’t get offended anymore when men make these sweeping statements portraying all women in every negative light. I feel sorry for them because it speaks on how low they think of themselves to actually date and mate with these cretins.
Continue Reading The stupid BS some guys do…

34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.

June 30, 2010 at 11:40 AM | Posted in As A Man, Don't be a Dummy, Education, Hear me ROAR! | 5 Comments

Editor’s Note: I found this gem on The Beautiful Struggler, Sister Toldja’s brilliant brainchild. She discusses “Black Male Privilege” and references writer Jewel Woods who published his controversial “Black Male Privilege Checklist”. The article started a hearty e-mail discussion among my friends. Numbers 27 and 34 on the checklist, “I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.” “I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.” with virtually no opposition from men. with virtually no opposition from men spoke VOLUMES to me. Oh, yes it did. I have too much fire in my belly about the topic especially when it is expounded to the intricacies and nuances of ideology and sex and sexuality in popular culture . I had to turn this one into a post.

“I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women…”

I am an advocate for loving and accepting your body, your curves, your voluptuousness but when the physical is ALL that is seen, as the inevitable trajectory of the street harasser follows, then you are made to feel bitterly ashamed of your own body. And you hate the person who viewed you only as an object. (Do we even call them “people,” because by removing my humanity you have consequently obliterated yours.)

This is the most apparent black male privilege that women are forced to live with every time we set foot outside our door. Doesn’t matter the day, season, time or outfit. A comment is made, or God forbid an action is always carried out. I can bet my lunch money for the next 60 years on that.

…”With virtually no opposition from men.” It astonishes me that “grown men” don’t get it. “Oh you enjoy it.” “Oh you’ll wish they still did it when you’re older.” The chauvinistic rationale some use is most definitely “the black male privilege.” The fact is I am looking forward for those days when I am viewed as more than a vessel. Is that not a basic human necessity? If the world at large, a cruel one at that, acknowledges if you are not born a white male your strike sheet is automatically marred then why can’t I catch a break from this “privilege” at least?
Continue Reading 34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men….

Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!

June 28, 2010 at 5:50 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Hear me ROAR!, Higher Definition | 7 Comments

Beeb was holding my hand. It was blazing hot on 125th street. I was disgruntled at the brunch menu at one restaurant and insisted the scant selections just wouldn’t do. In case you didn’t know. I eat. A lot. So we made our way to the car chatting and laughing. Suddenly, a deafening voice cut through our merriment. “YO!!!!! I gotta give your props son, and no disrespect either… I have to give you your props.” Hmmmm, you’re probably saying oh ok, he’s complimenting Beeb’s shirt or shoes. Yes, that would make perfect sense…he’s giving credit to another man on acquiring a great article of clothing. Nope, he’s talking about his other property, his woman. For the span of 40 seconds on that public Harlem sidewalk, I might as well had been as inanimate as clothing because to that guy, Beeb deserved respect for acquiring me. He was enjoying the display and wanted to give his due credit.

Our blank stares, wagging heads and newly brisk gait did nothing to deter his foul rhetoric. My ears bled. My blood boiled. We kept it moving. I joked how it sounded like the guy had a full megaphone set installed in his car, well actually his friends car, because he was on the passenger side. Of course. His despicable voice was loudly obnoxious. The entire block heard his offensive words, judging from the squinted foreheads and whiplashed necks. No doubt, I give Beeb credit for being an awesome person who happens to click with me, but his supposed “props” was based on misogynist principles. Didn’t that megaphone fool ever listen to Tupac?
“And since we all came from a woman,

Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman…

I wonder why we take from our women

Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?

I think it’s time to kill for our women

Time to heal our women, be real to our women
Continue Reading Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!…

Unfairly stigmatized

February 17, 2010 at 1:08 PM | Posted in As A Man, Hear me ROAR! | 8 Comments

Fishnets
I wear them. Have been an avid fan since I was able to but them with money I earned. What makes them different than any other stocking with a pattern? I even wear them to work with knee-length skirt and longer. I think they are absolutely fine to wear. Anywhere.

Curse words
I do it. You do it. What the f*$@ is the problem?

Single people
As I’ve said before here, “singledom” is not a sickness, condition, or disease. Sometimes it is a choice, it is a lifestyle, it can even be a way of thinking. I call it the joie de vivre. What makes a person in a relationship more happy than me? Get over it already.

5 inch heels
I love heels. I love love LOVE them. Why? Many reasons, but it seems like anytime I wear my customary 5 inches I’m met with gasps and agape mouths and the culprits are mostly women. “How can you walk in those?” they exclaim. One foot in front of the other. Genius.
Continue Reading Unfairly stigmatized…

You have a child sir? This date is over

February 15, 2010 at 7:53 PM | Posted in As A Man, Gimme a frickin break!, Hear me ROAR!, Love, Dating & Relationships | 13 Comments

Editor’s Note: I don’t date men with kid(s). Period. Here’s why.

5. Your baby mama
Does this really need an explanation?

4. I don’t like kids
Yea, kids are fun, cute, and they say the darndest things. I don’t like ’em. I can do without ’em. I’m sure I’ll like my kids. Maybe not. But I know I will definitely love them. Because I kinda sorta have to.

3. You’re at a stage in your life that I am not even close to.
Whether or not we’re the same age, you now have responsibilities I cannot empathize with, you are a father. You are responsible for another life. The only life I am responsible for, is mine.

2. I don’t care about little Ashley’s play
Conversation about your child is inevitable and to be frank, I really don’t care. I don’t really want to hear about a child that I have no connection to.
Continue Reading You have a child sir? This date is over…

I will now robotically purchase all Old Spice products for every man in my life

February 11, 2010 at 11:19 AM | Posted in As A Man, Boys! Boys! Boys!, Ca-yute! | 1 Comment

This is genius.

Related: Guys, don’t do this
Related: Best Advice: Don’t take him seriously…until you do
Related: What part of ‘not interested’ do you not understand?

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