Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!

June 28, 2010 at 5:50 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Hear me ROAR!, Higher Definition | 7 Comments

Beeb was holding my hand. It was blazing hot on 125th street. I was disgruntled at the brunch menu at one restaurant and insisted the scant selections just wouldn’t do. In case you didn’t know. I eat. A lot. So we made our way to the car chatting and laughing. Suddenly, a deafening voice cut through our merriment. “YO!!!!! I gotta give your props son, and no disrespect either… I have to give you your props.” Hmmmm, you’re probably saying oh ok, he’s complimenting Beeb’s shirt or shoes. Yes, that would make perfect sense…he’s giving credit to another man on acquiring a great article of clothing. Nope, he’s talking about his other property, his woman. For the span of 40 seconds on that public Harlem sidewalk, I might as well had been as inanimate as clothing because to that guy, Beeb deserved respect for acquiring me. He was enjoying the display and wanted to give his due credit.

Our blank stares, wagging heads and newly brisk gait did nothing to deter his foul rhetoric. My ears bled. My blood boiled. We kept it moving. I joked how it sounded like the guy had a full megaphone set installed in his car, well actually his friends car, because he was on the passenger side. Of course. His despicable voice was loudly obnoxious. The entire block heard his offensive words, judging from the squinted foreheads and whiplashed necks. No doubt, I give Beeb credit for being an awesome person who happens to click with me, but his supposed “props” was based on misogynist principles. Didn’t that megaphone fool ever listen to Tupac?
“And since we all came from a woman,

Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman…

I wonder why we take from our women

Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?

I think it’s time to kill for our women

Time to heal our women, be real to our women

When will that time come? When will you see me as more than the sum of my parts. MY PARTS, not Beeb’s parts. MINE. They belong to me. Not him. I made the decision to stand here with him. To hold his hand. To walk down the street with this blinding smile on my face. And you chose to be a pig and felt your “no disrepect” disclaimer sufficed to excuse your small mind and mental deficiencies. Your goal, in your eyes was not to degrade the woman but rather to big up the man. No, you didn’t degrade me, I know guys like you can’t see further than their nose, but an incident 2 years ago surely did.

I was coming from a job interview a couple summers ago. It was blazing hot but I sucked it up and wore a business suit. I was re-enacting the interview in my mind. “Hmmmm, he sounded positive…hopefully…..” My thoughts were barbarically interrupted “OooooooOOOOoooh girl, you got too much ass.” I can’t make this foolishness up. It was 1 o’clock on 35th and 8th. Crowded street. Incredulous Dash.

I whipped around and bitterly said “ That is disrespectful and a man of your age should know better.” He stammered. I went about my business as usual but the acrimonious truth was, I was humiliated. Right there on 35th street. You know the saying, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Its true. Sometimes. But other times it’s a bunch of BS. I didn’t feel inferior, but degradation is in the same vein. It is less than. It is subhuman. Humans have feelings. Words have power. And those words, even coming from a complete stranger humiliated me. It upset me. It enraged me. It made my blood boil and my heart sink.

Why should I be subject to harassment anytime a dirty stranger wants to tilt his head my way? Why should a any woman be made to feel she is solely comprised of carnal pleasure, in a business suit? Where has the respect for women gone? Well, according to that guy I was girl anyway, right? The inquisitive “who’s that lady” of yesteryear is replaced by disgusting catcalls. It goes deeper than a strange guy expecting a lady on the street to “SMILE!” on his command. Just. because.he.said.so. It goes even deeper than my ample behind being analyzed openly on a public sidewalk. I truly believe very soon, “we’ll have a race of babies
 that will hate the ladies, that make the babies.” Actually, this is the case NOW. Because, if you really did love me, you would give both man and woman“props” for being together. If you really loved me you would keep your eyes discrete and your lecherous comments to yourself. You don’t love me and frankly I don’t want you to, because even though I’m fed, I’ll keep my head up because the real men get up.

Related: Guys, don’t do this…
Related: Have you ever thought…maybe…just maaaaybe…she’s just not that into you?
Related: Best Advice: Don’t take him seriously…until you do.



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  1. […] from men. with virtually no opposition from men. spoke volumes to me. Oh, yes it did. I have too much fire in my belly about the topic especially when it is expounded to the intricacies and nua…. I had to turn this one into a […]

  2. Nice post!

  3. […] just not that into you? Related: Guys, don’t do this! Related: Black Male Privelege Related: Oh hi, while you were objectifying me… Related: Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the […]

  4. […] Oh hi, while you were objectifying me… Related: Have you ever thought maybe she’s just not that into you? Related: Guys, […]

  5. […] attractive woman pass by. Consider this: you can walk around shirtless freely but a woman can be ogled to degradation in a business suit? No woman you are actively trying to “get to know” should feel like a rack of ribs. You […]

  6. […] Related: Whatever happened to a womanly figure? Related: Have you ever thought maybe, she’s just not that into you? Related: Womanhood: It ain’t all about bouncing breasts and jiggling booties Related: Guys, please stop harrassing women Related: Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Somet… […]

  7. […] under, bend ‘em over.” The panelist went on to say it reinforces the warped idea that a female is “only as good as you look,” a consequence of socialization to view women as property and present to satisfy carnal desires and […]

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