Why are you single? Uh cuz I’d rather eat raw cookie dough. Duh.

December 10, 2009 at 1:53 PM | Posted in A little bit o' Mich & a Dash, Ah C'mon!, Gimme a frickin break!, Hear me ROAR!, I have had enough, Seriously?, UGH! | 15 Comments

I’m 23. I’m young. All my co-workers call me a kid. They have kids older than me. Some of their hairstyles are older than me. I’m fine with that. Like my co-worker, Dino said, stay a kid as long as possible. Goo goo ga ga. I have no qualms about my youth. I love it. I revel in it. I’m not going to waste it.

I am also single. I’m single and I like it. My mother encourages me to stay this way. My father’s ecstatic at this choice. I don’t think I have to “explain” why I’m single. It’s not a condition, it’s not a sickness. My declaration of that choice shouldn’t be met with a head tilted look of pity and a drawn out “AwwWWWwwwwww.” Save it d-bag.

Is it a requirement to have a significant other? Frankly, I’m way more happy flying solo. I come and go as I please. I don’t have to report to anyone. I don’t have to invite “him” to the movie I would rather see by myself. And if my room is messy, the only person that sees it is me.

I don’t need another commitment in my life at this point. I’m post grad. I’m still coming to terms that my first born is indebted to Sallie Mae. I’m almost a year into my career and my time and energy is better suited for avoiding office gossip, plotting my moves for world domination, gallivanting about town in that ca-yute dress, trading clothes with my hot mother, BBM-ing and tweeting the hell out of my friends, eating raw cookie dough, and frequent early car discussions on the plight and resolutions of minorities in America. Thanks Daddy!

I don’t feel the pressure to get a boyfriend. Much less getting married. Sure I date. I date a lot. @Tdotcarter1 calls me “United Nations” I like ‘em all.  However, I don’t feel compelled to be in a relationship. There’s absolutely nothing appealing about it. It comes with obligations that I’d just rather not have. Especially in the midst of giving one liver to Sallie Mae and my right lung to my progressing career. I have priorities that take precedent over “brunch with the boy.”  It’ll infringe on my raw cooking dough eating or on any one or combination of the aforementioned joys of my life.

I get annoyed easily. My best friend does too. She gets me. The rest of my friends get me. My family gets me, and I get all the love, understading and abuse I can handle from these people. An ole ball and chain is excessive. I don’t have the patience to help a man “get me.” I’m not ready for that. Hell HE’S not ready for that.

What I am NOT ready for is this marriage psycho babble I keep hearing from my own friends and followers. Why do women feel so much pressure to get married as soon as they reach legal drinking age? From what I see, men get married in their 30’s 40’s 50’s or never. And ask them if they give two hells about it. Why has this stigma of being old maid scared women shitless into a bedlam to wed when men can simply be a “bachelor” their whole lives? Give me a break. It’s enough already. Women, live your life, happily and completely and forget about timing. If you so happen to find your mate at 25, well, rock on with your bad self. I support it. But what’s wrong with getting married older?

I know, I know, childbirth has more complications after age 35. That’s a weak argument. Women have children well into their 40’s these days. Ok, so you don’t want to be “old” while raising kids. Another weak argument. If you take your health seriously, it doesn’t matter if you’re 60 at Johnny’s high school graduation. So then what are the reasons women feel they want or must be married by their late 20’s? I have yet to hear a good one. Well I guess if you’re aspiring career is “housewife.” You win.

I support living one’s life and doing what you want and being selfish until you are ready to make that commitment to a husband and then eventually kids. Personally, I want to flourish in my career, open a couple businesses, help some people, get an ice cream flavor named after me and travel the world before I get a ring put on it.  I’m having way too much fun right now. Errrr not that you can’t have fun with a husband…:blink blink:

If you are not whole before you become one with another individual…guess what, you will still be incomplete and for those that are complete and are on the desperate search for “the one.” Please stop. It’s pathetic. I’m sorry, this is my opinion. Haste makes waste. #yougottachill. There shouldn’t be a deadline on forever. Yes, marriage is forever.

Marriage is a life-long commitment and I think a lot of people forget that. Marriage is with another person. You are responsible for another human being’s heart. That’s a colossal responsibility, with negative and positive ramifications depending on you handle that responsibility. I’m not there yet. I still say goo-goo ga ga.



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  1. Ok I agree 96%!! lol Yes, searching frantically, worrying and the like is pathetic. Stop… Now! What is more likely to happen is that you end up not having the fun that everyone else your age is having AND you end up alone anyway. Lose-lose situation. But to their defense, there is nothing wrong with an “aspiring career as ‘housewife’.” It’s actually starting to appeal to me. (well not really, but it does sound dreamy) lol

  2. BTW this post probably has the same effect as my imaginary engagement ring… if that’s your plan.

  3. Sure, that’s why I said if you wanna be a housewife. You win. I don’t wanna be one and neither do you. You might as well save all your law school money for Johnny’s private school if that was the truth. Your imaginary engagement ring will deter ANY suitors. The bum ones and non-bum ones (which are few and far between anyway) As I said above. I dates. I does this.

  4. i like this dashira, you told it very well and along with myself wo never had a boyfriend, i can relate to you and can finally say its okay for me to be single!
    the only difference is that my mother is tired of supporting her children who are over the age of 21 so she wants me to hurry up at Temple and to find a husband, not boyfriend to take care of me the way he does. she also wants some grandbabies lol. so whoever i pretty choose to deal with is being “interviewd” as being my potential husband.

    • You can’t go from your mother supporting you to a husband supporting you. You as a human being need to support yourself before you can ask that of any man. What are you bringing to the table? A relationship is about give and take. A marriage is 50/50. Just as much as a man would be “interviewed” the woman should be “interviewed” as well. Yes, a man should take care of his and be ready, willing and able to support his wife, kids, family etc. but a woman should be her own complete unit before entering into a union.

  5. Amen, sister. I got married for the first time at age 42. I love being married, but I loved being single for all those years. Just be happy where you are. Frankly, I would have sucked at being married before my 40s. You need to find out who you are first.

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