‘Madre said’: The top ten quotes that reveal the facts of life

January 25, 2010 at 9:24 PM | Posted in Abs Fab, I support this, LMfreakingAO, Uncategorized, Yowzers | 7 Comments

10. “They look like stripper shoes! Get theeeemmmm!!!!!”
This is pretty self-explanatory. I tried on these great shoes for my 23rd birthday last year. I put them on, 5.5 inches. Green and gold and beautiful. My mother’s eyes brightened and she blurted this classic quote out. What lesson is learned here? Mamas probably got it poppin’ more than you whippersnappers.

9. “You done with that shirt? I’ll give you this bracelet.”
My mother shares and is very giving. She’s also in love with clothes and shopping, this is where I get it from. So if I like anything she’s wearing she immediately gives it to me….but if I happen to have something on she likes….Ah the art of barter and trade realized.

8. “I should just come out with you on New Year’s Eve so I can wear my outfit.”
You’re only as old as you feel and by my estimation my mother is 23.

7. Oh, you know “they” too?
You know that saying “they say this good” “they say eat your vegetables” “they say exercise” well my mother says
“They? Oh so you know ‘they’ too? Do “they” know you? I would appreciate a decision made by YOU. Who are “they” anyway?” Get a brain and backbone and stop subscribing to the BS. Geez!

6. “Who am I, the cat mother?”
I always loved this one. Whenever I referred to my mother in a sentence as “she,” “Well she’s there”…my mother would say this. She demanded respect and anything less is unacceptable.

5. “It will always look good to a man.”
We were discussing pregnancy and what consequently happens to a va-jay-jay in the aftermath. I said “it’ll be all ugly, and ugh!” To which my mother replied “oh please, it’ll always look good to a man.”

Continue Reading ‘Madre said’: The top ten quotes that reveal the facts of life…

Yea…so I have talented friends…

January 20, 2010 at 8:36 PM | Posted in Abs Fab, I support this, Yowzers | Leave a comment

Watch it. Love it. Obsess over it. You’re welcome.

Johnny’s Leaving Sizzle Reel from Kali Baker-Johnson on Vimeo.


Related: Women in War Zones

Single Black Female. Please sit all the way down. Forever. Thanks

January 20, 2010 at 8:12 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, Boys! Boys! Boys!, Dash Dices, Don't be a Dummy, Gimme a frickin break!, Hear me ROAR!, I have had enough, Love, Dating & Relationships, Please don't be "that girl", Sad but true, Seriously?, Soapbox in the Raw, UGH!, Willy Nilly, Yowzers | 10 Comments

Editor’s Note: I really wanted to stay away from this topic. I really really did. Why? Simply put. I think it’s silly. But everyone and their third cousin has been asking me my opinion on the topic so I’ll express it here. At about 4:28  minutes in homegirl in the purple shirt says “No, I don’t do that” in reference to being opposed to asking a man that she liked for his number. I will now analyze and dissect the story that she told and her response in correlation to her future as a cat-lady.

Um excuse me?? “You don’t DOOOO that?” Hi, have you met yourself, yea, you! you’re the single girl on the ABC special I’m watching. This must be a joke! A complete joke! This lady is crying that she’s single yet she “doesn’t “do that?” Helllooo????!!!! That’s why you’re single. Is that connection so damn hard to fathom?

The thing that blows my mind to bits is these women seem like they genuinely want to find love and happiness in love but they sure aren’t acting like it. If I want to lose weight but I lay around everyday eating twinkies, ring dings, ho-hos, and star crunches mushed into chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with a large fry, chocolate shake and Big Mac to wash it down before a large pizza desert, will I lose weight? Hell to NO! (Sounds like a Sunday Funday plan though) So if you’re looking for love but are reluctant to put yourself out there, are you going to find love? Methinks not. Look at the bigger picture. Sure, that woman may feel awkward for the 2.5 seconds it takes to ask this wonderful Caucasian gentleman she was vibing with for his number but what happens after that? They exchange numbers and can then see if a fruitful relationship manifests. The alternative is the same position she’s in. Lonely. And complaining to complete strangers like me who don’t give a hell.

This lady still has SILLY rules about approaching a man at 34. There’s the problem. A wise man once told me to get the results you’re not getting, do something you’re not doing. Whether that means, changing the places you meet men, changing your demeanor or (that stank face you always have on), it’s about doing something different so you achieve different and more preferable results. So obviously since she doesn’t “do that” she will never get married. The act of asking a man for his number is not brazen, it’s not slutty, it’s showing your interest in an effort to be un-single. Let’s keep it funky here, the woman ain’t no spring chicken. Beautiful woman, but no spring chicken. Looks fade. Loneliness doesn’t. And intelligent women can discern that.

Continue Reading Single Black Female. Please sit all the way down. Forever. Thanks…

If you can call yourself a n***a, why can’t I?

January 19, 2010 at 7:35 PM | Posted in Just Pinks | 4 Comments

Editor’s Note: The words and opinions expressed in this entry are solely of the writer, Pinks.

In the wake of the death of Mr. Teddy Pendergrass, one of the greatest soul singers to ever grace the planet, I actually became quite saddened when thinking of how just two days before, my mother and I were listening to his greatest hits CD and cooking together. Although we’ve bumped heads in the past and still share different (if not opposing) viewpoints on a number of topics, one thing my mother and I share indefinitely is our deep love for good R&B music. There is a VHS (remember those?!) of me at 3 years old on Christmas singing “Just Be My Lady” by Larry Graham while holding tightly onto my grandmother’s leg. To this day, when I hear this song, I have to blast it and sing to the top of my lungs because even though I’ve never been in love with a woman, I can feel the emotion behind his lyrics and in his voice.

Browsing through my Ipod, you’ll find a great array of musical genres, from alternative to punk rock to some metal, Christian rock, gospel and even some rap. The only time I listen to the radio is in the car on the way to and from work, and I usually end up switching between stations furiously because I can’t stand most of the garbage filtering through the airwaves. As I prepare for the arrival of my son, I think about what type of music he will like, whether or not he will inherit his father’s beautiful voice, and whose rhythm he will have – his father’s Kompa vibe or my soca and parang fast wine. I also can’t help but to wonder what artists he will look to for his throwback fix when the tunes of the time just don’t satisfy his tastes. As I clean, I usually have some old soul playing – Teddy P, Marvin Gaye, Sam Cooke, Aretha Franklin, Etta James, The Temptations, Betty Wright – and I plan to do the same when he comes along.

I’d like my son to sing along to The Manhattans’ “Kiss and Say Goodbye” the way I did when I was 6 years old and the rest of the kids were singing Bel Biv Devoe. I’d like him to feel how much Lenny Williams loved that woman in “Cause I Love You” when he belted out “OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH…” My mother wasn’t trying to keep me from popular music as I grew up, but she knew that there was a time when artists valued their craft, and they didn’t need $1 million video budgets or scantily clad hoes to sell records. They sang from their hearts about crucial topics (Marvin Gaye – What’s Goin On, The Temptations – World of Confusion, Aretha Franklin – Bridge Over Troubled Water) and had timeless, distinctive voices to match their simple but powerful ballads, dance tunes or whatever else.

Continue Reading If you can call yourself a n***a, why can’t I?…

A little goes a LOOOOOONG way

January 18, 2010 at 10:58 PM | Posted in Abs Fab, Do something whydoncha, Education, Higher Definition, I support this | 1 Comment

I was completely awe-struck and awe-inspired. It was amazing. I just left the Charity Water offices over on Varick Street to drop off my supplies for Haiti and this is what I saw:


Charity Water on 200 Varick Street

This goes to show that when we unite for good and pool our resources, indeed we can make a huge difference. Hopefully those that donated and did not will strive to make that difference. The young lady that greeted me at the door said they have way more supplies in storage so the pictures do not show all the donations. Charity Water, keep fighting the good fight.

Related: Save Haiti
Related: Catastrophe in Haiti

“Women hold up half the sky”

January 16, 2010 at 3:01 PM | Posted in Do something whydoncha, Education, Higher Definition, I support this | 5 Comments

The quote above is a Chinese proverb and also the title of the book I am currently reading by NY Times journalist, Nicholas D. Kristof and his wife, a former NY Times journalist and editor, Sheryl WuDunn. They won a Pulitzer Prize for the book and reading just the first page you know exactly why. I was sobbing, SOBBING by page 19. This is an issue that hits so close to home, because any one of those woman’s stories in the book could have easily been mine. The subtitle ‘Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide’ explains the content of the book but it doesn’t prepare the reader for the heart-wrenching tales of oppression endured by women from all over the globe. These tales are of resiliency, phenomenal strength and a true will to live and flourish under harrowing circumstances. I urge everyone to read this book. It will change your perspective, if not your life.

Related: Women in War Zones
Related: ‘All the scholar ladies’

Black woman why art thou so angry?

January 15, 2010 at 7:44 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, Don't be a Dummy, Gimme a frickin break!, Hear me ROAR!, Higher Definition, I have had enough, Please don't be "that girl", Seriously? | 5 Comments

Editor’s note: I had a revelation today.

I hop on the M4, on my way home today. It’s Friday, feeling good and looking forward to a weekend of fundraising and helping in relief efforts. I maneuver my way through the afternoon crowd on the bus to the middle of the bus find a seat, plop down and grab my book out of my bag. As soon as the book hit my lap I hear a an angry voice scream, ” CAN YOU TAKE YOUR BAG HANDLE OUT OF MY BACK!!!!!” Extremely nasty, and extremely unwarranted. I had no clue my bag handle decided to beat the hell out of her. It was honestly unbeknownst to me that any part of my bag was even touching her, but clearly this bag assault seemed to have ruined her life from the sounds of it. So I obliged this lady but I was absolutely incredulous. As a woman and citizen of the world I had to let the screecher know her attitude was uncalled for. In my most even-toned voice I retorted, “Well you didn’t have to be so rude about it.” I then cracked open my book and instantly became engrossed as she turned around and screeched, “EXCUSE ME, WHAT DID YOU SAY???, WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOU SAID I’M RUDE? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO HAD YOUR PURSE IN MY BACK, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT RUDE IS.” She turned to the person sitting to her, who didn’t even bat an eye at her, for support to continue her diatribe. ‘CAN YOU BELIEVE HER??? WHAT…BLAH BLAH BLAH..” for literally, 3 minutes on a crowded bus of people. I wanted no parts of her insidious rant so I remained engrossed in my book and let her show just how crazy she was by yelling at no one. At least no one that was interested in entertaining her childish foolishness.

When I got off the bus I wondered, why the anger, lady? Why was her initial response rancor? Why did she feel compelled to talk to another human being with such venom? A simple, “Your bag is in my back,” would have done the trick. I didn’t know her from a ham sandwich. Did she think I had a personal vendetta against ladies that wear furry hats and glasses and the only way to satisfy this need for blood was to go around on buses jabbing people in the back with my purse handle? Why is it in a city as huge and as crowded as New York, you think you would be exempt from having another person’s property touch you? I’ve seen people fall asleep on subway on the shoulder of the person they’re sitting next to. I didn’t see that unlucky person lash out in the same manner as this lady did. Apparently being assaulted by a purse warranted such a brute reaction. Why would she debase herself and look like a raving lunatic on a bus full of people? Was it worth it? Did it require all of that?

My response is no. Her response would probably be a resounding screech of YES!!! My father’s response was “poor thing.” I paused. “Huh?” He said “She doesn’t know any better.” I thought that was a valid point, but don’t we learn how to speak to others in uh…kindergarten? As aforementioned, her ravings were to no avail because my book was way more important than some crazy lady on the bus. But it sincerely breaks my heart that people like her are the representation for people that look like me. The good, is seldom remembered as much as the bad. So as super-human as Michelle Obama is, the crazy lady in the furry hat screaming on the bus is what people are going to think of when they see my brown face.

Related: Why Didn’t he call me back? Because you’re a f*****g psycho that’s why!
Related: Single Black Female please sit all the way down forever. Thanks

Catastrophe in Haiti

January 14, 2010 at 6:13 PM | Posted in Don't be a Dummy, Education, Higher Definition | 1 Comment

Editor’s Note: Found this via @marclamonthill on twitter. Touches on other outside factors that led to the destruction in Haiti’s capitol. “Ashley Smith describes the natural and not-so-natural factors that contributed to the devastation when Haiti was struck by a strong earthquake.”

Catastrophe in Haiti
Ashley Smith describes the natural and not-so-natural factors that contributed to the devastation when Haiti was struck by a strong earthquake.

January 14, 2010
A DEVASTATING earthquake, the worst in 200 years, struck Port-au-Prince on Tuesday, laying waste to the city and killing untold numbers of people. The quake measured 7.0 on the Richter scale, and detonated more than 30 aftershocks, all more than 4.5 in magnitude, through the night and into Wednesday morning.

The earthquake toppled poorly constructed houses, hotels, hospitals and even the capital city’s main political buildings, including the presidential palace. The collapse of so many structures sent a giant cloud into the sky, which hovered over the city, raining dust down onto the wasteland below.

According to some estimates, more than 100,000 people may have died, in a metropolis of 2 million people. Those that survived are living in the streets, afraid to return inside any building that remains standing.

Around the world, Haitians struggled to contact their family and friends in the devastated country. But most could not reach their loved ones since phone lines were down throughout the country.

Read the full story here

SAVE HAITI – Many Ways to Help

January 13, 2010 at 8:32 PM | Posted in Do something whydoncha | 3 Comments

The State Department has set up a hot-line for information on family members in Haiti:
Call 1888-407-4747

To Donate:

Red Cross: You can text ‘Haiti’ to 90999 to donate ten dollars to emergency relief efforts. Your cell phone will be charged the bill.

You can also donate to Wyclef Jean’s foundation text ‘Yele’ to 501501. You will get a confirmation and must send “Yes” to confirm. This also goes on your phone bill.

You can also make donations at unicefusa.org and redcross.org

Emergency funds for water, 100% goes to Haiti www.winetowater.org

Red Cross needs Creole Speaking volunteers for a 24 hour PHONE BANK! Contact Br. Wilford @ 305-776-6900 – “please pass it on!”

:Laughing and clapping with glee:

January 12, 2010 at 7:03 PM | Posted in Abs Fab, Ca-yute!, LMfreakingAO, Yowzers | Leave a comment

Editor’s Note: I instantly fell in love. You’re welcome.

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