34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.

June 30, 2010 at 11:40 AM | Posted in As A Man, Don't be a Dummy, Education, Hear me ROAR! | 5 Comments

Editor’s Note: I found this gem on The Beautiful Struggler, Sister Toldja’s brilliant brainchild. She discusses “Black Male Privilege” and references writer Jewel Woods who published his controversial “Black Male Privilege Checklist”. The article started a hearty e-mail discussion among my friends. Numbers 27 and 34 on the checklist, “I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.” “I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.” with virtually no opposition from men. with virtually no opposition from men spoke VOLUMES to me. Oh, yes it did. I have too much fire in my belly about the topic especially when it is expounded to the intricacies and nuances of ideology and sex and sexuality in popular culture . I had to turn this one into a post.

“I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women…”

I am an advocate for loving and accepting your body, your curves, your voluptuousness but when the physical is ALL that is seen, as the inevitable trajectory of the street harasser follows, then you are made to feel bitterly ashamed of your own body. And you hate the person who viewed you only as an object. (Do we even call them “people,” because by removing my humanity you have consequently obliterated yours.)

This is the most apparent black male privilege that women are forced to live with every time we set foot outside our door. Doesn’t matter the day, season, time or outfit. A comment is made, or God forbid an action is always carried out. I can bet my lunch money for the next 60 years on that.

…”With virtually no opposition from men.” It astonishes me that “grown men” don’t get it. “Oh you enjoy it.” “Oh you’ll wish they still did it when you’re older.” The chauvinistic rationale some use is most definitely “the black male privilege.” The fact is I am looking forward for those days when I am viewed as more than a vessel. Is that not a basic human necessity? If the world at large, a cruel one at that, acknowledges if you are not born a white male your strike sheet is automatically marred then why can’t I catch a break from this “privilege” at least?
Continue Reading 34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men….

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Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!

June 28, 2010 at 5:50 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Hear me ROAR!, Higher Definition | 7 Comments

Beeb was holding my hand. It was blazing hot on 125th street. I was disgruntled at the brunch menu at one restaurant and insisted the scant selections just wouldn’t do. In case you didn’t know. I eat. A lot. So we made our way to the car chatting and laughing. Suddenly, a deafening voice cut through our merriment. “YO!!!!! I gotta give your props son, and no disrespect either… I have to give you your props.” Hmmmm, you’re probably saying oh ok, he’s complimenting Beeb’s shirt or shoes. Yes, that would make perfect sense…he’s giving credit to another man on acquiring a great article of clothing. Nope, he’s talking about his other property, his woman. For the span of 40 seconds on that public Harlem sidewalk, I might as well had been as inanimate as clothing because to that guy, Beeb deserved respect for acquiring me. He was enjoying the display and wanted to give his due credit.

Our blank stares, wagging heads and newly brisk gait did nothing to deter his foul rhetoric. My ears bled. My blood boiled. We kept it moving. I joked how it sounded like the guy had a full megaphone set installed in his car, well actually his friends car, because he was on the passenger side. Of course. His despicable voice was loudly obnoxious. The entire block heard his offensive words, judging from the squinted foreheads and whiplashed necks. No doubt, I give Beeb credit for being an awesome person who happens to click with me, but his supposed “props” was based on misogynist principles. Didn’t that megaphone fool ever listen to Tupac?
“And since we all came from a woman,

Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman…

I wonder why we take from our women

Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?

I think it’s time to kill for our women

Time to heal our women, be real to our women
Continue Reading Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!…

“Oh well, he making mo’ money than you”

June 18, 2010 at 10:37 AM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, Economista, Hear me ROAR! | 1 Comment

I have heard this mantra time and time again. It got me thinking, at what point does money trump integrity, morals and beliefs? At what point do we stop caring about what is right for what is green?
“Oh my Gawd, I can’t believe my former pastor is now a stripper.” Oh well, she making dat money.” HUH?

Continue Reading “Oh well, he making mo’ money than you”…

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