Why didn’t he call me back? Because you’re a f*****g psycho that’s why

January 6, 2010 at 11:01 PM | Posted in Hear me ROAR!, Hot Sex on Fire | 11 Comments

I have very wise parents. They keep it real with me, I keep it real with them. Growing up, no subject was off limits, including love and sex. Having this type of open rapport with my parents throughout my years has been beneficial in my personal growth. I would like to believe I’m a little bit wise in these particular areas…hey, I had great role models. I definitely won’t say I know everything about male and female relations but here are a few practices I believe would benefit women when it comes to love, dating and relationships.

1. Don’t question him

I don’t like anyone questioning me. My parents, the very beings that gave life to me, don’t question me. Where I’m going, what I’m doing and with whom is no one’s business but my own. I oftentimes fly solo and relish that freedom, so why the hell would I want my mate to grill me on my moves? It’s maddening to anyone. When you are first getting to know someone, take what they say at face value. Dating shouldn’t be about trying to verify his story but instead getting to know the person telling the story. In time as you make a connection and a bond grows, he will offer his itinerary voluntarily and vice versa. If he gives you reason to feel suspicious, send his shady ass to the left. Promptly.

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff

Ok, I get annoyed easily. I admit it. But that fact doesn’t mean I should go upside my mate’s head everytime he throws a dirty sock on the floor. It can never be that serious and you know it! Pick your battles. If he says he will call at 6:00pm and doesn’t call until the next morning please don’t chew him out for 10 minutes on how he “didn’t call when he was supposed to.” Why waste time being mad when you two could be having fun? Let it roll. Don’t get me wrong, if he does something completely off color, speak your peace and keep it moving. Just don’t become “that girlfriend.”

3. When he shows you who he is, believe him: If he wasn’t giving you what you wanted in the beginning he will definitely not give you what you want in the end

I’m a communicator. I like free-flowing communication within all my relationships. I like to be able to reach someone and vice versa. I was dating a guy that was horrid at communicating. He failed at speaking his mind, relaying plans, and come to think of it, just talking in general. I didn’t like it. I voiced my concerns. He acknowledged his problem with a chuckle and a “yea, everyone says that.” I think I even detected a kanye shrug. I let it rock for a little. Uh…what’s his name again?

Adding to this point, my mother told me this story of a woman she knew. Keep in mind my mother is, just as, if not MORE sarcastic and cynical than me.

My mother: What’s wrong “Linda”?

“Linda”: I’m so upset my boyfriend and I broke up.

My mother: (BBM sad face) Awwwwwww….

Linda: Yea, we were together for 3 years

My mother: Wow…

Linda: Yea he’s been divorced twice and has three kids. I wanted to get married and have kids but when we got together he said he will never get married again and he doesn’t want anymore kids.

My mother:  -_-

The worst part about this was the serial divorcee broke up with HER. Ladies, don’t be anyone’s dummy. Not rocket science folks.

4. Play your cards right: It’s a poker game

When I was in high school my beyond-traditional, uber-strict, over-protective father sat me down and gave me his view on sex in a relationship. He said “Dating is like a poker game. In the game, you hold your cards close to your chest, you don’t let anyone see them and you play your hand. So once you have sex with a guy all your cards are on the table, then what do you have to play with??” :BBM Dr. Jekyl inquisitive face:

I had just entered high school and the idea of the teenage boy species made that vein in my father’s neck protrude for the next 4 years. His theory is valid. It can be applicable in all aspects of dating, in sex and in the “getting to know you” process. Don’t bombard homeboy with your stories on how “Diana just RUINED your life in middle school just because you were fat and liked to lick chalk” within the first 5 minutes of meeting. Nobody wants to hear that. In time he probably will, let it happen organically and eventually you BOTH won’t mind calling the game a tie.

5. Be yourself

This should be easy if you’re not a psycho. And please, for goodness sake…don’t.be.a.psycho.

P.S.-Just thought of this addendum:

Don’t test him

I always hang my head down in shame when I hear this same ol’ tired story. “Yea so last night I was hanging out with my man and his friend invited him out to the strip club. He turned and asked me if I was cool with it and he’d just stay in if I wanted to chill. Can you believe that? I was kind of tight, so I just rolled my eyes and said whatever, you do whatever you want….and guess what? he went!”  -_-  Men are mind readers no more than you are. If you feel like getting big one day to test him and”see what he’s going to do,” chances are, you will be picking your face off the floor. Be honest. Stop being a psycho.

Related: Best Advice: Don’t take him seriously…until you do



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  1. This should be tweeted and dropped on alot of facebook pages of women I know. I might need to break down the 10 commandments for brothas on this too.

  2. […] off a guy’s back. We should learn to do the same. To achieve all the goals I noted in my “Don’t Be Psycho,” it is important to stop taking guys and yourself so damn seriously! Life is short. Boys are fun. […]

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  11. Thanks for this 🙂

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