Why Mr. Big wouldn’t stand a chance

January 5, 2011 at 1:13 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Love, Dating & Relationships | Leave a comment

A couple of days ago Awesomely Luvvie started a twitter discussion about the Mr. Bigs of the world, “Has anyone married their Mr. Big?” she asked. Lots of babies by Bigs, but no marriages. Only Carrie. I’ve participated in this type of discussion before and have been blown away that so many women actually romanticize and have or had a Mr. Big in their lives to begin with. Were they watching the same show I was? Did they negate that he treated Carrie like dirt and she chased after him like a pathetic lost puppy? I think Big just got tired of running to tell you the truth. (Wasn’t he like 96 or something?) That woman was relentless! Geez!

I know any given situation is based on perception and perceptions differ between individuals but wrong is wrong. And Mr. Big was not Mr. Right. BasseyWorldLive doesn’t endorse Big but said a lot of women romanticize the lifestyle. That’s understandable. I’ll take the lifestyle, I’ll pass on that kind of man. If I have to debase myself for that kind of love, you can keep it. But then again what’s love got to do with it? Last time I checked love don’t live here anymore doesn’t leave you standing at the alter because an ego needed stroking 5 minutes before he was supposed to walk you down the aisle. That can’t be it.

I personally never saw Mr. Big’s appeal. He was rich. And? Carrie lived in New York, do you know how many rich men live here? Next. He was attractive? Not my cup of tea really, but I can see how others may like his look. Point blank, Mr. Big was damaged goods. So was Carrie. They were both dysfunctional and that works for sitcoms in the same way as storybooks and fairy tales. Unrealistic, unreasonable and unattainable. And fact is, Aiden was too good for her, Carrie needed to love herself before seeking out the countless men she begged to love her. I firmly believe love and making a relationship work is a conscious decision an individual makes. The mushy floating on air feeling is great too but other factors contribute to a relationship’s longevity. In Carrie’s case it was desperation. And lots of it.

The idea of Mr. Big was easier to handle than Big himself. If Carrie had a modicum of self-love there would be no Sex in the City. I think there’s value in compromise in any relationship but Carrie bent and bowed so much I’m surprised she didn’t need a cane at series end. I will give her credit for maintaining her friendships through her man issues. However it was deeper issues she needed to grapple with that really unsettles me. It seems as though the huge designer label closet and extravagant lifestyle is enough for some women when it comes to love and the man is secondary but I ‘d wager that Mr. Choo, Mr. Louboutin and Mr. Blahnik won’t be there to help you through labor,  support you through your Juris Doctor or help change your bedpan and neither would a Mr. Big.


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