Why you so uptight?

January 8, 2010 at 11:16 AM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, Gimme a frickin break! | 6 Comments

Editor’s Note: I really wasn’t going to blog about this but I’m tired of hearing the foolishness

Following the bruhaha over Reggie Bush’s February Essence cover and the women that got their panties in a bunch because of it. The outrage is because Reggie Bush is with a non-black woman (Kim K.) and he is covering a magazine that caters to black women.

I support Reggie’s fineness. I support his cover. What I don’t support is women getting mad because a black man is dating a white woman. Ok, so what? Seriously, so what? It’s nothing new, frankly it’s old now. He is among many an athlete with non-black wives/girlfriends/jumpoffs. *yawn*

Doesn’t affect my life nor yours. His choice in a mate has nothing to do with how fabulous YOU are. There is too much emotion and hurt feelings over a man you don’t even know. If he weren’t with Kim K., he still wouldn’t be with YOU or ME. Let’s keep it funky here.

Would it make everyone feel better if he was dating a black woman? In the end does it really matter?

If Reggie said “I only date white women because they’re better,” then there’s a problem. Then I would understand the outrage. I don’t see anyone boycotting Law and Order because Ice-T stars in it. I didn’t see anyone getting all hot in the collar at Halle Berry, Kerry Washington, Mariah Carey, Diana Ross, Iman, Beverly Johnson, Veronica Webb, Naomi Campbell on covers. All of whom date/marry outside their race. Sounds like a double standard to me.

Reggie is still ok in my book.

My real issue is the statement “I ONLY date x,y or z.” 

Too much importance is placed on the shallow. Love is deeper than that. Love should not have an intent to “marry outside my race because I want my child to have ‘good hair.'”

That’s not love, that’s self-hatred. At the same token, one shouldn’t deny themselves happiness with another person just because they happen to be of a different race, ethnicity, creed, or what have you. We are all human and should be with whomever makes us happy. A match is a match.

“Light is right,” You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl,” “He’s pretty fly for a white guy.” (Ok the last one is kind of funny) But seriously, what is the root of these phrases these mindless sheep aka-the masses continue to repeat? 

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  1. Ok, I totally agree! Reggie is a beautiful black man. He is successful and I am sure there was one time in his life that he dated a black woman.Do black men owe us something? NO! Everyone has their preference. I am a black woman, and I dated Hispanic men for a very long time. I am the only girl of three boys. I dont have a complex, I love black men! Now, I date all races of people. It is as simple as preference. Kim K. is a beautiful woman! If she was in that position and just happens to be a little darker I am sure he would still be with her. She might be funny, and charming. These are qualities hard to find in beautiful women…period! Maybe she rubs his head at night, and puts up with his bad habits…who knows! If I met a white man who loved me, didnt play games, worshiped the ground I walked on, and made me laugh….I would be on the first thing SMOKIN! As you stated, we dont know him. Obviously he came from an African American woman, he loves black women. But when it comes to sexual relationships, he prefers to look up at a brighter skin tone. Nothing wrong with that. If we can talk about race.. we might as well go into weight, race, height, career, and all of the hundreds of preferences people have when finding a mate. Black women complain about black men not giing them a chance all of the time. Its not about their skin color. Its because you dont have it together, you have 8 kids by 8 different baby daddys, no goals, no dreams, no advanced eduacation, your immature, materialistic, selfish, too cute to be funny, and self-centered. Totally explains why they are putting all of their energy into a life that is not their own inistead of trying to figure out a way to advance in this world. If they put as much time and energy into improving their life and being successful, they would be AMAZED! *drops mic*

    • Yes, very valid points, however, like Pinks said, not all men born from Black women love black women. I’ve never heard Reggie denounce us so I will continue to appreciate that nice piece of man we have thurr.

  2. This outrage just goes to show that some of us (meaning Black women) will never be satisfied with ANYTHING or ANYONE, because we aren’t satisfied with ourselves. I’ll have to disagree with the poster above’s statement “Obviously he came form an African American woman, he loves black women.”

    That’s not so obvious to me. Many black men, including my ex, who was born from a Bajan mother and Guyanese father, have issues with dating black women simply because of what are thought to be “typical sista characteristics.” We’ve all met, perhaps know and maybe even have friends/family members who fit the bill: multiple children by multiple men, loud, aggressive, unwilling to compromise, color-struck, interested in men only for their money, hypersexual, etc. Unfortunately, this small sect of women has come to represent the majority, along with the video hoes, air brains, chickenheads extraordinaire and Nicki Minajs of the world.

    White women were once looked at as the pinnacles of society: pure, delicate and indefinitely beautiful. In some sense, they sort of still are. They are the top recipients of welfare and affirmative action, yet black women are looked at as hoarders of these benefits. The pervading sense of self-hatred that still permeates our community and causes obsession with fine/wavy hair, straight noses, and fair skin tone is far from just a myth. The same ex I spoke of is dark skinned with horrible teeth and acne. He was teased for being so dark as a child and to this day still claims that he hates “dark black bitches” and only goes for women, myself included, with “the look” (curly hair, fair skin, slanted eyes).

    Men who have these types of attitudes as Dash mentioned, and ONLY date outside their race for whatever reason are pitiful. Tiger Woods included. Why anyone would deny themselves the glory and splendor of all that encompasses our beautiful sista rainbow is beyond me. My point is, if they obviously don’t want you, why do you want them to want you? There are plenty of black men who love us for our hips, ass, big lips and sometimes loud mouths. Focus on them, not the chumps who can’t stand to see kids who look like them.

    • Yes, Pinks, yes…and might I add there are plenty of non-black men who love us for those qualities and beyond. It is up to black women to explore and give those men that want us a chance.

  3. […] Related: Why you so uptight? […]

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