Editor’s Note: I really wanted to stay away from this topic. I really really did. Why? Simply put. I think it’s silly. But everyone and their third cousin has been asking me my opinion on the topic so I’ll express it here. At about 4:28 minutes in homegirl in the purple shirt says “No, I don’t do that” in reference to being opposed to asking a man that she liked for his number. I will now analyze and dissect the story that she told and her response in correlation to her future as a cat-lady.
Um excuse me?? “You don’t DOOOO that?” Hi, have you met yourself, yea, you! you’re the single girl on the ABC special I’m watching. This must be a joke! A complete joke! This lady is crying that she’s single yet she “doesn’t “do that?” Helllooo????!!!! That’s why you’re single. Is that connection so damn hard to fathom?
The thing that blows my mind to bits is these women seem like they genuinely want to find love and happiness in love but they sure aren’t acting like it. If I want to lose weight but I lay around everyday eating twinkies, ring dings, ho-hos, and star crunches mushed into chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with a large fry, chocolate shake and Big Mac to wash it down before a large pizza desert, will I lose weight? Hell to NO! (Sounds like a Sunday Funday plan though) So if you’re looking for love but are reluctant to put yourself out there, are you going to find love? Methinks not. Look at the bigger picture. Sure, that woman may feel awkward for the 2.5 seconds it takes to ask this wonderful Caucasian gentleman she was vibing with for his number but what happens after that? They exchange numbers and can then see if a fruitful relationship manifests. The alternative is the same position she’s in. Lonely. And complaining to complete strangers like me who don’t give a hell.
This lady still has SILLY rules about approaching a man at 34. There’s the problem. A wise man once told me to get the results you’re not getting, do something you’re not doing. Whether that means, changing the places you meet men, changing your demeanor or (that stank face you always have on), it’s about doing something different so you achieve different and more preferable results. So obviously since she doesn’t “do that” she will never get married. The act of asking a man for his number is not brazen, it’s not slutty, it’s showing your interest in an effort to be un-single. Let’s keep it funky here, the woman ain’t no spring chicken. Beautiful woman, but no spring chicken. Looks fade. Loneliness doesn’t. And intelligent women can discern that.
Ok, I confess, I can’t get enough of NyMag’s Sex Diaries. It’s a healthy addiction. It’s harmless really, every time I finish reading one diarists’ entry I leave feeling relieved about my own love life with an enthused “glad I’m not THAT guy/girl.” To me it’s pure entertainment. I laugh and point at most of the situations logged in these almost fictional entries. It’s hard to believe any self-respecting woman would beg for sex and get turned down by two different guys in one day. Well, in fact I finish reading most entries incredulous. I often wondered is this normal? Am I abnormal for still upholding the age-old art of dating and expecting the guy to *gasp* open the door (at the very least)? But, as the unifying theme in every entry depicts, technology, particularly “sexting” has given way for dating’s red-headed step-child, “hooking up.” A dirty facade that is no longer viewed as such. Allegedly.
“Has the search for erotic gratification ever been so efficient? Until recently, being a cad or coquette took a lot of work: You needed to buy a little black book, and you had to go around filling it, and then you had to schedule your calls for a time when the target of your seduction was likely to be at home. The less-self-assured daters in New York faced the sickening anxiety of the first phone call, or the cold approach in the bar. There were palliatives designed to help people cope—the newspaper personal ads, the paid dating services, the dirty videos and magazines—but they were generally understood to be the province of weirdos and losers. No more. The social technologies that assist in dating and mating today are more than palliatives – they’ve changed the nature of the game.”
In a world where “hooking up” is becoming the standard among young people, I refuse to be part of it. Frankly my daddy taught me better than that. What the hell did “Johnny” (or “Raul” or “Jamal” or “Muhammad” or “Lee”) do to earn a kiss or a feel? Many blame their dalliances on the alcohol, sometimes loneliness, sometimes boyfriend number 3 was acting stupid and boyfriend number 1 was out of town so Sue went with boyfriend number 2. Wesley Yang wrote an insightful, introspective and spot-on piece on this new “dating/hooking up” phenomena where the dating part is obsolete: A Critical (But Highly Sympathetic) Reading of New Yorkers’ Sexual Habits and Anxieties
It seems like a lot of these New York diarists’ raison d’etre is to end up in a stranger’s bed(s). Alas, I guess I get in the way of myself in that instance, because my reason for being is to dance. Yes, I love dancing. Ask anyone, I’m a fool for the dance. But only vertically.
Editor’s Note: This article done by the New York Times was well-written and shed light on an issue most people of color have been living with. This is not a revelation for most blacks but it may be an eye-opener for non-blacks. Discrimination has been institutionalized and it is ugly.
In Job Hunt, College Degree Can’t Close Racial Gap
By MICHAEL LUO
Johnny R. Williams, 30, would appear to be an unlikely person to have to fret about the impact of race on his job search, with companies like JPMorgan Chase and an M.B.A. from the University of Chicago on his résumé.
But after graduating from business school last year and not having much success garnering interviews, he decided to retool his résumé, scrubbing it of any details that might tip off his skin color. His membership, for instance, in the African-American business students association? Deleted.
“If they’re going to X me,” Mr. Williams said, “I’d like to at least get in the door first.”
Similarly, Barry Jabbar Sykes, 37, who has a degree in mathematics from Morehouse College, a historically black college in Atlanta, now uses Barry J. Sykes in his continuing search for an information technology position, even though he has gone by Jabbar his whole life.
“Barry sounds like I could be from Ireland,” he said.
That race remains a serious obstacle in the job market for African-Americans, even those with degrees from respected colleges, may seem to some people a jarring contrast to decades of progress by blacks, culminating in President Obama’s election.
Read the full story here
Washington (CNN) — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid apologized Saturday for making racially insensitive remarks about Barack Obama during the presidential campaign.
Journalists Mark Halperin and John Heilemann reported the remarks in their new book, “Game Change,” which is scheduled to be in bookstores Tuesday.
The authors quote Reid as saying privately that Obama, as a black candidate, could be successful thanks, in part, to his “light-skinned” appearance and speaking patterns “with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.”
“He [Reid] was wowed by Obama’s oratorical gifts and believed that the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as Obama — a ‘light-skinned’ African American ‘with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one,’ ” Halperin and Heilemann say.
“Reid was convinced, in fact, that Obama’s race would help him more than hurt him in a bid for the Democratic nomination,” they write.
In a statement to CNN, Reid said, “I deeply regret using such a poor choice of words.”
“I sincerely apologize for offending any and all Americans, especially African Americans for my improper comments.
“I was a proud and enthusiastic supporter of Barack Obama during the campaign and have worked as hard as I can to advance President Obama’s legislative agenda,” the senator from Nevada said.
Reid pointed to his efforts to integrate the Las Vegas Strip and the gaming industry, among other legislation favored by African-American voters.
“I have worked hard to advance issues important to the African American community.”
he senator called Obama Saturday afternoon to apologize for the racially insensitive remarks.
“Harry Reid called me today and apologized for an unfortunate comment reported today,” Obama said in a statement.
“I accepted Harry’s apology without question because I’ve known him for years, I’ve seen the passionate leadership he’s shown on issues of social justice and I know what’s in his heart. As far as I am concerned, the book is closed.”
Hmmmmm. I’m going to be a little bit objective here. My first thought is Reid’s un-PC remarks weren’t that much different than remarks black people were making about Obama since he started campaigning. The real problem here is Reid is white and sometimes the truth hurts.
It is openly discussed among the black community that “light skin” is easily accepted among the non-black populous versus “dark skin.” It’s “wrong” but that’s the way it is. Reid was making the same observation a person of color has made since the beginning of race relations in this country.
The “negro dialect” Reid was referring to is formally known as “African American Vernacular English,” and casually known as “Ebonics.” Although, Reid’s choice of words in describing this dialect warranted furrowed brows and wagging heads, he wasn’t off the mark. If Obama took the podium in the voice of Lil’ Wayne, every black person would be up in arms about how “ghetto” he is, about how “he can’t act right.” Reid, in less words, was saying Obama was “acting right.” Right enough so that he had a fighting chance to be elected by those people who wouldn’t ordinarily vote for a black man.
Now we all know exactly how the “black man” is perceived in this world. I said, world and not America, because this folly of a stereotype is on a global scale. Black men are angry, aggressive, dangerous and most of all scary. I can’t count how many times my guy friends have told me that banal story of the white woman that hastily grabbed her purse or crossed the street when she saw them coming. I can’t count how many times I see a young black man get stopped and frisked when he was just minding his own business.
‘Colombian man castrates himself to avoid cheating on wife’
Any person of color could have told you that one. We live it everyday. They can also tell you that they get followed around while at stores and get a side-eye when they’re the only color in a room or at a conference or at a… But the post-Obama America inserts fingers into ears and says racism is gone because hey look, we chose the black guy! The “race card” isn’t an excuse, it is a reality for those who are striving to transcend racial boundaries and inequities. And even for the everyday “Jamal.” So education can’t even be the “great equalizer.” Something’s gotta give.
From nytimes.com: In Job Hunt, College Degree Can’t Close Racial Gap
Millions’ worth of gear left in Iraq: PENTAGON EASES RULES
Officers air concerns, citing Afghan effort
By Ernesto Londoño, Washington Post Foreign Service , Monday, December 7, 2009
BAGHDAD — Even as the U.S. military scrambles to support a troop surge in Afghanistan, it is donating passenger vehicles, generators and other equipment worth tens of millions of dollars to the Iraqi government.
Under new authority granted by the Pentagon, U.S. commanders in Iraq may now donate to the Iraqis up to $30 million worth of equipment from each facility they leave, up from the $2 million cap established when the guidelines were first set in 2005. The new cap applies at scores of posts that the U.S. military is expected to leave in coming months as it scales back its presence from about 280 facilities to six large bases and a few small ones by the end of next summer.
Some of the items that commanders may now leave behind, including passenger vehicles and generators, are among what commanders in Afghanistan need most urgently, according to Pentagon memos.
Officials involved say the approach has triggered arguments in the Pentagon over whether the effort to leave Iraqis adequately equipped is hurting the buildup in Afghanistan. Officials in the U.S. Central Command, which oversees both wars, have balked at some proposed handovers, and previously rejected an approach that would have granted base commanders even greater leeway….
Continue reading the Washington Post article >>> here
Excerpt from Jason Whitlock’s article:
He discusses changing monogomy rules in the aftermath of ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips’ affair with a staff member. Seems relevant for today dontchathink?
As Phillips falls from grace, we need to alter rules
In the aftermath of ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips’ sordid affair with Monica Lewinsky II, we can no longer deny the inadequacies of America’s current relationship rules as they pertain to the battle against Pussy Galore.
It’s time to change the rules of the game.
There’s been too much carnage. She shredded Rick Pitino’s reputation. She pushed Josh Hamilton off the wagon. She sweet-talked Charles Barkley into driving drunk. She hoodwinked Dirk Nowitzki into falling in love with a fugitive.
And now a 22-year-old slump-buster has apparently cost Steve Phillips his marriage and his credibility to analyze baseball.
Read it here
When dying to be beautiful takes a literal turn, there is something tragically wrong. The surgical enhancements have reached a fever pitch. When is enough enough? You take a risk when you undergo surgery…so doing so voluntarily is playing with fire. This is the lengths some will go for beauty and sadly this lady paid with her life.