Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!June 28, 2010 at 5:50 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Hear me ROAR!, Higher Definition | 7 Comments
Beeb was holding my hand. It was blazing hot on 125th street. I was disgruntled at the brunch menu at one restaurant and insisted the scant selections just wouldn’t do. In case you didn’t know. I eat. A lot. So we made our way to the car chatting and laughing. Suddenly, a deafening voice cut through our merriment. “YO!!!!! I gotta give your props son, and no disrespect either… I have to give you your props.” Hmmmm, you’re probably saying oh ok, he’s complimenting Beeb’s shirt or shoes. Yes, that would make perfect sense…he’s giving credit to another man on acquiring a great article of clothing. Nope, he’s talking about his other property, his woman. For the span of 40 seconds on that public Harlem sidewalk, I might as well had been as inanimate as clothing because to that guy, Beeb deserved respect for acquiring me. He was enjoying the display and wanted to give his due credit.
Our blank stares, wagging heads and newly brisk gait did nothing to deter his foul rhetoric. My ears bled. My blood boiled. We kept it moving. I joked how it sounded like the guy had a full megaphone set installed in his car, well actually his friends car, because he was on the passenger side. Of course. His despicable voice was loudly obnoxious. The entire block heard his offensive words, judging from the squinted foreheads and whiplashed necks. No doubt, I give Beeb credit for being an awesome person who happens to click with me, but his supposed “props” was based on misogynist principles. Didn’t that megaphone fool ever listen to Tupac?
“And since we all came from a woman,
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman…
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
Continue Reading Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!…
Hug a woman today! (and every day for that matter)
Related: Women Hold Up Half the Sky
Related: Womanhood: It ain’t all about bouncing breasts and jiggling booties
Related: Women in War Zones
Related: Honor Thy Hourglass
Editor’s Note: My friend was on facebook and found this little gem of perspective and enlightenment…
10. Panic is pointless
I am more likely to keep my cool than not, simply because panic and stress offers no real solution except panic and stress. It is inefficacious of any form or fashion of progress. Freaking out does not solve the problem nor does it make the process go smoothly. It’s more logical to identify the problem, sort through what needs to be done and get on with it already!
9. I’ll respect you
I respect everyone because we are all human. Respect is a freebie from me. Worthy until proven unworthy.
8. I don’t care about your attitude
I’m cordial and pleasant to everyone. I acknowledge and speak to everyone I work with. If a colleague chooses to have an attitude that’s their business, not mine. I’ll carry the same tune I had before and after your venom.
Continue Reading Top 10 reasons why work NEVER stresses me out…
5. He never made me mow the lawn
My family is very traditional in the way of gender roles. My father fixed the cars, mowed the lawn, lifted heavy stuff, opened the jars, didn’t want my mother to work (but she did) and my mother cooked, cleaned, sewed and did the shopping. These responsibilities were passed on to me and my sister as the male roles were passed on to my brother. My brother and father were the only two that ever mowed the lawn. I believe women can do anything a man does and vice versa but I’ll be damned if my mate doesn’t intervene when I try to lift a hundred pound couch solo.
4. He cooked for me on my 13th birthday
This was my special birthday request. My father worked very long hours and commuted 4-5 hours 5-7 days a week. He cooked but rarely, but his food was amazing! I’m sure he could have used the time it took to fulfill my special request to sleep or rest but he didn’t, he wanted to make me happy and that bomb meal did just that. The little things count and the fact I remember that gesture more than 10 years later is a testament to that.
3. He gossips with me
As I’ve said before I like free flowing communication. Anyone I deem important in my life is capable of this, especially my father. I could tell him my middle toe itched and then a lint ball landed on the TV and he would chuckle or gasp at the story, and I’m sure he doesn’t care that, “Stephanie” from my 11th grade musical is now “Steve,” he still listens.
Continue Reading 5 reasons why my father RUINED my dating life!…
I was completely awe-struck and awe-inspired. It was amazing. I just left the Charity Water offices over on Varick Street to drop off my supplies for Haiti and this is what I saw:
This goes to show that when we unite for good and pool our resources, indeed we can make a huge difference. Hopefully those that donated and did not will strive to make that difference. The young lady that greeted me at the door said they have way more supplies in storage so the pictures do not show all the donations. Charity Water, keep fighting the good fight.
The quote above is a Chinese proverb and also the title of the book I am currently reading by NY Times journalist, Nicholas D. Kristof and his wife, a former NY Times journalist and editor, Sheryl WuDunn. They won a Pulitzer Prize for the book and reading just the first page you know exactly why. I was sobbing, SOBBING by page 19. This is an issue that hits so close to home, because any one of those woman’s stories in the book could have easily been mine. The subtitle ‘Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide’ explains the content of the book but it doesn’t prepare the reader for the heart-wrenching tales of oppression endured by women from all over the globe. These tales are of resiliency, phenomenal strength and a true will to live and flourish under harrowing circumstances. I urge everyone to read this book. It will change your perspective, if not your life.
Editor’s note: I had a revelation today.
I hop on the M4, on my way home today. It’s Friday, feeling good and looking forward to a weekend of fundraising and helping in relief efforts. I maneuver my way through the afternoon crowd on the bus to the middle of the bus find a seat, plop down and grab my book out of my bag. As soon as the book hit my lap I hear a an angry voice scream, ” CAN YOU TAKE YOUR BAG HANDLE OUT OF MY BACK!!!!!” Extremely nasty, and extremely unwarranted. I had no clue my bag handle decided to beat the hell out of her. It was honestly unbeknownst to me that any part of my bag was even touching her, but clearly this bag assault seemed to have ruined her life from the sounds of it. So I obliged this lady but I was absolutely incredulous. As a woman and citizen of the world I had to let the screecher know her attitude was uncalled for. In my most even-toned voice I retorted, “Well you didn’t have to be so rude about it.” I then cracked open my book and instantly became engrossed as she turned around and screeched, “EXCUSE ME, WHAT DID YOU SAY???, WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOU SAID I’M RUDE? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO HAD YOUR PURSE IN MY BACK, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT RUDE IS.” She turned to the person sitting to her, who didn’t even bat an eye at her, for support to continue her diatribe. ‘CAN YOU BELIEVE HER??? WHAT…BLAH BLAH BLAH..” for literally, 3 minutes on a crowded bus of people. I wanted no parts of her insidious rant so I remained engrossed in my book and let her show just how crazy she was by yelling at no one. At least no one that was interested in entertaining her childish foolishness.
When I got off the bus I wondered, why the anger, lady? Why was her initial response rancor? Why did she feel compelled to talk to another human being with such venom? A simple, “Your bag is in my back,” would have done the trick. I didn’t know her from a ham sandwich. Did she think I had a personal vendetta against ladies that wear furry hats and glasses and the only way to satisfy this need for blood was to go around on buses jabbing people in the back with my purse handle? Why is it in a city as huge and as crowded as New York, you think you would be exempt from having another person’s property touch you? I’ve seen people fall asleep on subway on the shoulder of the person they’re sitting next to. I didn’t see that unlucky person lash out in the same manner as this lady did. Apparently being assaulted by a purse warranted such a brute reaction. Why would she debase herself and look like a raving lunatic on a bus full of people? Was it worth it? Did it require all of that?
My response is no. Her response would probably be a resounding screech of YES!!! My father’s response was “poor thing.” I paused. “Huh?” He said “She doesn’t know any better.” I thought that was a valid point, but don’t we learn how to speak to others in uh…kindergarten? As aforementioned, her ravings were to no avail because my book was way more important than some crazy lady on the bus. But it sincerely breaks my heart that people like her are the representation for people that look like me. The good, is seldom remembered as much as the bad. So as super-human as Michelle Obama is, the crazy lady in the furry hat screaming on the bus is what people are going to think of when they see my brown face.
Editor’s Note: Found this via @marclamonthill on twitter. Touches on other outside factors that led to the destruction in Haiti’s capitol. “Ashley Smith describes the natural and not-so-natural factors that contributed to the devastation when Haiti was struck by a strong earthquake.”
Catastrophe in Haiti
Ashley Smith describes the natural and not-so-natural factors that contributed to the devastation when Haiti was struck by a strong earthquake.
January 14, 2010
A DEVASTATING earthquake, the worst in 200 years, struck Port-au-Prince on Tuesday, laying waste to the city and killing untold numbers of people. The quake measured 7.0 on the Richter scale, and detonated more than 30 aftershocks, all more than 4.5 in magnitude, through the night and into Wednesday morning.
The earthquake toppled poorly constructed houses, hotels, hospitals and even the capital city’s main political buildings, including the presidential palace. The collapse of so many structures sent a giant cloud into the sky, which hovered over the city, raining dust down onto the wasteland below.
According to some estimates, more than 100,000 people may have died, in a metropolis of 2 million people. Those that survived are living in the streets, afraid to return inside any building that remains standing.
Around the world, Haitians struggled to contact their family and friends in the devastated country. But most could not reach their loved ones since phone lines were down throughout the country.
Read the full story here