Editor’s Note: My friend was on facebook and found this little gem of perspective and enlightenment…
Editor’s Note: I don’t date men with kid(s). Period. Here’s why.
5. Your baby mama
Does this really need an explanation?
4. I don’t like kids
Yea, kids are fun, cute, and they say the darndest things. I don’t like ‘em. I can do without ‘em. I’m sure I’ll like my kids. Maybe not. But I know I will definitely love them. Because I kinda sorta have to.
3. You’re at a stage in your life that I am not even close to.
Whether or not we’re the same age, you now have responsibilities I cannot empathize with, you are a father. You are responsible for another life. The only life I am responsible for, is mine.
2. I don’t care about little Ashley’s play
Conversation about your child is inevitable and to be frank, I really don’t care. I don’t really want to hear about a child that I have no connection to.
Continue Reading You have a child sir? This date is over…
Editor’s Note: I really wanted to stay away from this topic. I really really did. Why? Simply put. I think it’s silly. But everyone and their third cousin has been asking me my opinion on the topic so I’ll express it here. At about 4:28 minutes in homegirl in the purple shirt says “No, I don’t do that” in reference to being opposed to asking a man that she liked for his number. I will now analyze and dissect the story that she told and her response in correlation to her future as a cat-lady.
Um excuse me?? “You don’t DOOOO that?” Hi, have you met yourself, yea, you! you’re the single girl on the ABC special I’m watching. This must be a joke! A complete joke! This lady is crying that she’s single yet she “doesn’t “do that?” Helllooo????!!!! That’s why you’re single. Is that connection so damn hard to fathom?
The thing that blows my mind to bits is these women seem like they genuinely want to find love and happiness in love but they sure aren’t acting like it. If I want to lose weight but I lay around everyday eating twinkies, ring dings, ho-hos, and star crunches mushed into chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with a large fry, chocolate shake and Big Mac to wash it down before a large pizza desert, will I lose weight? Hell to NO! (Sounds like a Sunday Funday plan though) So if you’re looking for love but are reluctant to put yourself out there, are you going to find love? Methinks not. Look at the bigger picture. Sure, that woman may feel awkward for the 2.5 seconds it takes to ask this wonderful Caucasian gentleman she was vibing with for his number but what happens after that? They exchange numbers and can then see if a fruitful relationship manifests. The alternative is the same position she’s in. Lonely. And complaining to complete strangers like me who don’t give a hell.
This lady still has SILLY rules about approaching a man at 34. There’s the problem. A wise man once told me to get the results you’re not getting, do something you’re not doing. Whether that means, changing the places you meet men, changing your demeanor or (that stank face you always have on), it’s about doing something different so you achieve different and more preferable results. So obviously since she doesn’t “do that” she will never get married. The act of asking a man for his number is not brazen, it’s not slutty, it’s showing your interest in an effort to be un-single. Let’s keep it funky here, the woman ain’t no spring chicken. Beautiful woman, but no spring chicken. Looks fade. Loneliness doesn’t. And intelligent women can discern that.
Editor’s note: I had a revelation today.
I hop on the M4, on my way home today. It’s Friday, feeling good and looking forward to a weekend of fundraising and helping in relief efforts. I maneuver my way through the afternoon crowd on the bus to the middle of the bus find a seat, plop down and grab my book out of my bag. As soon as the book hit my lap I hear a an angry voice scream, ” CAN YOU TAKE YOUR BAG HANDLE OUT OF MY BACK!!!!!” Extremely nasty, and extremely unwarranted. I had no clue my bag handle decided to beat the hell out of her. It was honestly unbeknownst to me that any part of my bag was even touching her, but clearly this bag assault seemed to have ruined her life from the sounds of it. So I obliged this lady but I was absolutely incredulous. As a woman and citizen of the world I had to let the screecher know her attitude was uncalled for. In my most even-toned voice I retorted, “Well you didn’t have to be so rude about it.” I then cracked open my book and instantly became engrossed as she turned around and screeched, “EXCUSE ME, WHAT DID YOU SAY???, WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOU SAID I’M RUDE? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO HAD YOUR PURSE IN MY BACK, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT RUDE IS.” She turned to the person sitting to her, who didn’t even bat an eye at her, for support to continue her diatribe. ‘CAN YOU BELIEVE HER??? WHAT…BLAH BLAH BLAH..” for literally, 3 minutes on a crowded bus of people. I wanted no parts of her insidious rant so I remained engrossed in my book and let her show just how crazy she was by yelling at no one. At least no one that was interested in entertaining her childish foolishness.
When I got off the bus I wondered, why the anger, lady? Why was her initial response rancor? Why did she feel compelled to talk to another human being with such venom? A simple, “Your bag is in my back,” would have done the trick. I didn’t know her from a ham sandwich. Did she think I had a personal vendetta against ladies that wear furry hats and glasses and the only way to satisfy this need for blood was to go around on buses jabbing people in the back with my purse handle? Why is it in a city as huge and as crowded as New York, you think you would be exempt from having another person’s property touch you? I’ve seen people fall asleep on subway on the shoulder of the person they’re sitting next to. I didn’t see that unlucky person lash out in the same manner as this lady did. Apparently being assaulted by a purse warranted such a brute reaction. Why would she debase herself and look like a raving lunatic on a bus full of people? Was it worth it? Did it require all of that?
My response is no. Her response would probably be a resounding screech of YES!!! My father’s response was “poor thing.” I paused. “Huh?” He said “She doesn’t know any better.” I thought that was a valid point, but don’t we learn how to speak to others in uh…kindergarten? As aforementioned, her ravings were to no avail because my book was way more important than some crazy lady on the bus. But it sincerely breaks my heart that people like her are the representation for people that look like me. The good, is seldom remembered as much as the bad. So as super-human as Michelle Obama is, the crazy lady in the furry hat screaming on the bus is what people are going to think of when they see my brown face.
Read the full story here
Washington (CNN) — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid apologized Saturday for making racially insensitive remarks about Barack Obama during the presidential campaign.
Journalists Mark Halperin and John Heilemann reported the remarks in their new book, “Game Change,” which is scheduled to be in bookstores Tuesday.
The authors quote Reid as saying privately that Obama, as a black candidate, could be successful thanks, in part, to his “light-skinned” appearance and speaking patterns “with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.”
“He [Reid] was wowed by Obama’s oratorical gifts and believed that the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as Obama — a ‘light-skinned’ African American ‘with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one,’ ” Halperin and Heilemann say.
“Reid was convinced, in fact, that Obama’s race would help him more than hurt him in a bid for the Democratic nomination,” they write.
In a statement to CNN, Reid said, “I deeply regret using such a poor choice of words.”
“I sincerely apologize for offending any and all Americans, especially African Americans for my improper comments.
“I was a proud and enthusiastic supporter of Barack Obama during the campaign and have worked as hard as I can to advance President Obama’s legislative agenda,” the senator from Nevada said.
Reid pointed to his efforts to integrate the Las Vegas Strip and the gaming industry, among other legislation favored by African-American voters.
“I have worked hard to advance issues important to the African American community.”
he senator called Obama Saturday afternoon to apologize for the racially insensitive remarks.
“Harry Reid called me today and apologized for an unfortunate comment reported today,” Obama said in a statement.
“I accepted Harry’s apology without question because I’ve known him for years, I’ve seen the passionate leadership he’s shown on issues of social justice and I know what’s in his heart. As far as I am concerned, the book is closed.”
Hmmmmm. I’m going to be a little bit objective here. My first thought is Reid’s un-PC remarks weren’t that much different than remarks black people were making about Obama since he started campaigning. The real problem here is Reid is white and sometimes the truth hurts.
It is openly discussed among the black community that “light skin” is easily accepted among the non-black populous versus “dark skin.” It’s “wrong” but that’s the way it is. Reid was making the same observation a person of color has made since the beginning of race relations in this country.
The “negro dialect” Reid was referring to is formally known as “African American Vernacular English,” and casually known as “Ebonics.” Although, Reid’s choice of words in describing this dialect warranted furrowed brows and wagging heads, he wasn’t off the mark. If Obama took the podium in the voice of Lil’ Wayne, every black person would be up in arms about how “ghetto” he is, about how “he can’t act right.” Reid, in less words, was saying Obama was “acting right.” Right enough so that he had a fighting chance to be elected by those people who wouldn’t ordinarily vote for a black man.
Now we all know exactly how the “black man” is perceived in this world. I said, world and not America, because this folly of a stereotype is on a global scale. Black men are angry, aggressive, dangerous and most of all scary. I can’t count how many times my guy friends have told me that banal story of the white woman that hastily grabbed her purse or crossed the street when she saw them coming. I can’t count how many times I see a young black man get stopped and frisked when he was just minding his own business.
I have loved Zoe Saldana for a few years now. Not because of her flourishing acting career but because of her strong sense of identity. In sophomore year in school, I was reading an article on her in Latina magazine while under the dryer at the Dominican hair salon. She stated very clearly that she is a black woman.
She is Dominican and Puerto Rican. She is Latina. She is a Black Latina and makes no bones about it. Being a Black Latina myself I can appreciate when an individual can say with pride and strength what they are. This is her quote:
“When I go to the D.R., the press in Santo Domingo always asks, “¿Qué te consideras, dominicana o americana?” (What do you consider yourself, Dominican or American?) I don’t understand it, and it’s the same people asking the same question. So I say, time and time again, “Yo soy una mujer negra.” (“I am a black woman.”) [They go,] “Oh, no, tú eres trigueñita.” (“Oh no, you are ‘dark skinned’”) I’m like, “No! Let’s get it straight, yo soy una mujer negra.” (“I am a black woman.”)”
Unlike other Black Latinos that will deny what they are until the day they die, ie Sammy Sosa…eh pretty much the majority of Black Latinos in the MLB, Zoe embraces what she is. The brainwashed “light is right” complex is just as, if not, more ingrained in the Latino culture than it is in Black American culture.
How is it that we have countless words for “black” and “dark-skinned”? How is it that when you turn on Univision there is not one Latino darker than porcelain? Why in 2009 was a well-known, successful baseball player bleaching his skin? Latinos are more obsessed with skin color and hair texture than any other group I have encountered. It’s sickening, it is disgusting, it is deplorable and it needs to end.
To clarify for the ignoramuses of the world: Latino is an ethnicity. One can be ANY race and be Latino. Our history was borne upon conquistadores, the slave trade, land pillaging, native raping and the like. Don’t be fooled by the JLos, Selma Hayeks and Sophia Vergaras. There are Latinas as dark as midnight and those as aryan as can be.
I am proud of Zoe Saldana. I am proud to be Latina. I am proud to Black. I am proud to be Panamanian. It is a shame that in 2010, Latinos are still not proud of themselves and the beautiful spectrum of colors and hues they come in. We are not as unified as we claim to be.
I have yet to see a damn tanned Latino on El Sabado Gigante.
Related: I’m not African-American, I’m Black.
Editor’s Note: I really wasn’t going to blog about this but I’m tired of hearing the foolishness
Following the bruhaha over Reggie Bush’s February Essence cover and the women that got their panties in a bunch because of it. The outrage is because Reggie Bush is with a non-black woman (Kim K.) and he is covering a magazine that caters to black women.
I support Reggie’s fineness. I support his cover. What I don’t support is women getting mad because a black man is dating a white woman. Ok, so what? Seriously, so what? It’s nothing new, frankly it’s old now. He is among many an athlete with non-black wives/girlfriends/jumpoffs. *yawn*
Doesn’t affect my life nor yours. His choice in a mate has nothing to do with how fabulous YOU are. There is too much emotion and hurt feelings over a man you don’t even know. If he weren’t with Kim K., he still wouldn’t be with YOU or ME. Let’s keep it funky here.
Would it make everyone feel better if he was dating a black woman? In the end does it really matter?
If Reggie said “I only date white women because they’re better,” then there’s a problem. Then I would understand the outrage. I don’t see anyone boycotting Law and Order because Ice-T stars in it. I didn’t see anyone getting all hot in the collar at Halle Berry, Kerry Washington, Mariah Carey, Diana Ross, Iman, Beverly Johnson, Veronica Webb, Naomi Campbell on covers. All of whom date/marry outside their race. Sounds like a double standard to me.
Reggie is still ok in my book.
My real issue is the statement “I ONLY date x,y or z.”
Too much importance is placed on the shallow. Love is deeper than that. Love should not have an intent to “marry outside my race because I want my child to have ‘good hair.’”
That’s not love, that’s self-hatred. At the same token, one shouldn’t deny themselves happiness with another person just because they happen to be of a different race, ethnicity, creed, or what have you. We are all human and should be with whomever makes us happy. A match is a match.
“Light is right,” You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl,” “He’s pretty fly for a white guy.” (Ok the last one is kind of funny) But seriously, what is the root of these phrases these mindless sheep aka-the masses continue to repeat?
Whoa, I have not blogged in ages…aka 2 weeks. Seems like an eternity. The holidays come in and consume your life for a good month and change then spits you back out, broke, hungover and wretchedly tired just in time for work Monday morning after a week of binge eating, spiked eggnog and fighting off soccer moms at target. I’ve always wondered, what is it all for? And this X-mas proved to be the last straw.
I’m 23 years old. I got a shirt for Christmas. Yea, a shirt. I got my family stuff they would probably like. Key words being “got” and “stuff.” I can honestly say this was the last Christmas I will get them anything. Yea I said it. I
The focus is too much on “hey what’d you get” instead of “hey how was it.” I’ll probably start making charitable donations in their name or making their gifts because I can take more joy in that. My family already has enough “stuff.” The one “holy-day” that is supposed to be about the love of Christ has been desecrated into a peppermint haze. I’m sick of it. So too bad. I’m done with X-Mas. I will now start celebrating ChristMas.
I’m 23. I’m young. All my co-workers call me a kid. They have kids older than me. Some of their hairstyles are older than me. I’m fine with that. Like my co-worker, Dino said, stay a kid as long as possible. Goo goo ga ga. I have no qualms about my youth. I love it. I revel in it. I’m not going to waste it.
I am also single. I’m single and I like it. My mother encourages me to stay this way. My father’s ecstatic at this choice. I don’t think I have to “explain” why I’m single. It’s not a condition, it’s not a sickness. My declaration of that choice shouldn’t be met with a head tilted look of pity and a drawn out “AwwWWWwwwwww.” Save it d-bag.
Is it a requirement to have a significant other? Frankly, I’m way more happy flying solo. I come and go as I please. I don’t have to report to anyone. I don’t have to invite “him” to the movie I would rather see by myself. And if my room is messy, the only person that sees it is me.
I don’t need another commitment in my life at this point. I’m post grad. I’m still coming to terms that my first born is indebted to Sallie Mae. I’m almost a year into my career and my time and energy is better suited for avoiding office gossip, plotting my moves for world domination, gallivanting about town in that ca-yute dress, trading clothes with my hot mother, BBM-ing and tweeting the hell out of my friends, eating raw cookie dough, and frequent early car discussions on the plight and resolutions of minorities in America. Thanks Daddy!
I don’t feel the pressure to get a boyfriend. Much less getting married. Sure I date. I date a lot. @Tdotcarter1 calls me “United Nations” I like ‘em all. However, I don’t feel compelled to be in a relationship. There’s absolutely nothing appealing about it. It comes with obligations that I’d just rather not have. Especially in the midst of giving one liver to Sallie Mae and my right lung to my progressing career. I have priorities that take precedent over “brunch with the boy.” It’ll infringe on my raw cooking dough eating or on any one or combination of the aforementioned joys of my life.
I get annoyed easily. My best friend does too. She gets me. The rest of my friends get me. My family gets me, and I get all the love, understading and abuse I can handle from these people. An ole ball and chain is excessive. I don’t have the patience to help a man “get me.” I’m not ready for that. Hell HE’S not ready for that.
What I am NOT ready for is this marriage psycho babble I keep hearing from my own friends and followers. Why do women feel so much pressure to get married as soon as they reach legal drinking age? From what I see, men get married in their 30’s 40’s 50’s or never. And ask them if they give two hells about it. Why has this stigma of being old maid scared women shitless into a bedlam to wed when men can simply be a “bachelor” their whole lives? Give me a break. It’s enough already. Women, live your life, happily and completely and forget about timing. If you so happen to find your mate at 25, well, rock on with your bad self. I support it. But what’s wrong with getting married older?
I know, I know, childbirth has more complications after age 35. That’s a weak argument. Women have children well into their 40’s these days. Ok, so you don’t want to be “old” while raising kids. Another weak argument. If you take your health seriously, it doesn’t matter if you’re 60 at Johnny’s high school graduation. So then what are the reasons women feel they want or must be married by their late 20’s? I have yet to hear a good one. Well I guess if you’re aspiring career is “housewife.” You win.
I support living one’s life and doing what you want and being selfish until you are ready to make that commitment to a husband and then eventually kids. Personally, I want to flourish in my career, open a couple businesses, help some people, get an ice cream flavor named after me and travel the world before I get a ring put on it. I’m having way too much fun right now. Errrr not that you can’t have fun with a husband…:blink blink:
If you are not whole before you become one with another individual…guess what, you will still be incomplete and for those that are complete and are on the desperate search for “the one.” Please stop. It’s pathetic. I’m sorry, this is my opinion. Haste makes waste. #yougottachill. There shouldn’t be a deadline on forever. Yes, marriage is forever.
Marriage is a life-long commitment and I think a lot of people forget that. Marriage is with another person. You are responsible for another human being’s heart. That’s a colossal responsibility, with negative and positive ramifications depending on you handle that responsibility. I’m not there yet. I still say goo-goo ga ga.
In the words of my dear friend, S. Chew : “Aint buyin it Breezy!- Don’t look like you’re “devastated” & “hurting” to me…SMH.” He said it. Not me. :blink blink:
Wonder if the “other woman” will be interviewed in the coming weeks. Just asking. It’s only fair right?