I had a provocative discussion with my friends @lovemecca and @chewchronicles about the amazing book “The Book of Night Women.” We discussed our love for the book and the plot and storyline along with issues brought up in the book. The conversation turned to colonization, culture and finally race relations as it pertained to the two aforementioned topics. The book was about slaves in Jamaica and the history of the island’s colonization. My Ghanaian girlfriend, read the book and said the book was probably a biography of her family. It talked about the Ashanti tribe and there was even a town in Jamaica that was similar to her last name. She recently went to Jamaica with the book and was telling a waiter about it and he tuned out and walked away when she spoke about the slave history. In another incident she said a Jamaican lady she knows says “Jamaica is such a backwards country, I am British.”
I told Steven and Mecca some West Indians (not all) would be more apt to claim they are the nationality of their colonizers than admit they are descendants of African slaves, some even go as far as to not even acknowledge they are Black, I said it’s because they resent being grouped in with Black Americans. Steven said, The Black American experience is NOT the (only) Black Experience. I agreed. I have seen this shocking phenomena time and time again. I have never heard a Black American refer to themselves as English or British. The insanity needs to stop. Blacks in their respective colonized countries did not spring from the mountains, they were brought there some way or another. I simply cringe and die inside (sometimes my Haitian girlfriend and I laugh and point) whenever I hear a Haitian refer to themselves as French or a Jamaican say they’re British. Legitimately, there ARE Haitians and Jamaicans born in those respective countries but that fact does not apply to those who do this.
Steven and Mecca said it is similar to the Black American phenomena of claiming Indian (Native-American) in their blood. They went on to both say that the true story is a lot of slaves were raped, thus Black Americans do tend to be mixed with European blood, and it may be less painful to illustrate that a grandparent took up with a Native American (which did happen, although not as much as people may describe) versus saying their great grandmother was raped by a slave-master. Expounding on this, I added that the question “are you fully black” makes absolutely no sense because the Black race is such an inherently mixed race, given colonization, the slave trade and the diaspora, that the concept doesn’t even exist anymore, and hasn’t existed for a very long time. I said really, Black Americans should start taking more ownership of their culture. There is an established Black American culture and it should be celebrated, not diminished.
Continue Reading Black Americans DO have a culture…
Stop committing these offenses. NOW!
Not wearing your correct make-up color
Why anyone would want to look like Casper is beyond me, but can we please stop the madness? That concealer is stark white and so is your foundation. This is not OK. Match your foundation to your skin or if you’re in between go the next shade up not down. It looks horrid. Trust me.
Not wearing your size
We can all agree there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to clothing size. A size 8 in one brand is not the same in another. So for the love of all things right why don’t you ignore the size label and buy what fits. No one will know except you! Stop letting senseless vanity cloud your comfort…and mine for that matter.
Knowing good and well those heels need to be fixed or dumped
Hey I’m guilty of it too. Wearing those amazing heels til the silver in the heel pokes out. But c’mon it’s time to take it to the shoemaker or give it up.
Knowing good and well you are freezing
I know women sacrifice a lot for style and beauty and personally I am convinced that coat manufacturers are in cahoots with the pharmacy industry because they purposely make woman’s coats not warm. But in any case, it’s winter. It’s cold. Wear sleeves. Wear pants. It’s ok, he’ll still notice your booty dazzling personality
Continue Reading Ladies, can we get real for a sec here?…
A couple of days ago Awesomely Luvvie started a twitter discussion about the Mr. Bigs of the world, “Has anyone married their Mr. Big?” she asked. Lots of babies by Bigs, but no marriages. Only Carrie. I’ve participated in this type of discussion before and have been blown away that so many women actually romanticize and have or had a Mr. Big in their lives to begin with. Were they watching the same show I was? Did they negate that he treated Carrie like dirt and she chased after him like a pathetic lost puppy? I think Big just got tired of running to tell you the truth. (Wasn’t he like 96 or something?) That woman was relentless! Geez!
I know any given situation is based on perception and perceptions differ between individuals but wrong is wrong. And Mr. Big was not Mr. Right. BasseyWorldLive doesn’t endorse Big but said a lot of women romanticize the lifestyle. That’s understandable. I’ll take the lifestyle, I’ll pass on that kind of man. If I have to debase myself for that kind of love, you can keep it. But then again what’s love got to do with it? Last time I checked love don’t live here anymore doesn’t leave you standing at the alter because an ego needed stroking 5 minutes before he was supposed to walk you down the aisle. That can’t be it.
Because I am sure there are people from every group on the planet that embodies a stereotype, however these people are not the representative of their group. There are others. There are alternatives. That is the problem. There’s no balance. No population of any people is a monolith and it is mind-boggling to think that in a a world with so many choices, so many colors, flavors, creeds, walks of life, and “alternative” way of life that people still hold on to the belief that stereotypes should still pervade our media mainframes. There were some who had a problem with Antoine Dodson’s initial news appearance. In the station’s follow-up, they addressed the outcry about “questioning the decision to let people like him share their story, because it reflects poorly on the community” and the reporter countered saying “censoring people like Antoine is far worse.” Antoine admitted he was just being himself, not trying to portray a stereotype. He is who he is and no one should fault him for it. He’s not the problem. The stereotype isn’t either. It is the lack of non-stereotypes that I cringe at.
More than anything, these depictions are just frigin boring. Seriously. It is lackluster, dusty, uncreative and unimaginative. You have no capacity to learn, to grow to educate yourself that you simply lean on archaic ideas to describe, millions of people on this planet? Does that even make any sense? I have said it before and I will say it again, there is a trend of crying “racism” every time a group of people finds something unfavorable. Not everything is racist, or meant to be racist. There are many factors to consider before playing the “racist” card. Intent and ignorance. If the intent wasn’t malicious (and that is very easy to gauge) then I can’t legitimately call it racism. If the person is ignorant or had little to no exposure to people of color then I can’t call you a racist. I can freely call your point of view offensive and say you’re uneducated, unrefined, uncultured and brutish. Perhaps even a heathen. But not a racist. Logically, you have to pick and choose these battles because the battle for squashing stereotypes is a losing one and pretty pointless. You can only combat it by showing something different.
I remember my sister was watching a commercial for a children’s movie and when it was done, she turned to me visibly upset and said “why does the Black woman always have to be screaming and have a nasty attitude?” I didn’t have an answer for her. She was 15 and noticed and wasn’t happy about it. I just had to remind her that we are so much more than these minority archetypes. We are major. There is so much more to a Hispanic woman, to a Black man, to an Asian, Arab, Native American than meets anyone’s eyes. Unfortunately it won’t be shown but it’s up to the individual to diversify their life experiences with these different types of people. But if they don’t, well surely the individual will believe every tall guy plays basketball whilst slapping bitches in their Range Rover after making it rain with a stolen purse. Why not? They know no better.
Continue Reading The problem with stereotypes is not the stereotype at all…
Read from bottom to top. I chronicle my third harrowing experience of a perverted scumbag exposing himself to me. A friend of mine pointed out it’s an issue of power. Another friend said to not respond because they want a reaction. I say mace them to smithereens. See below for a list of resources.
Mace is legal in all 50 states but there are restrictions: WomensLaw.org
I don’t recommend buying the gun shaped mace, but there is a myriad of mace options here
Stun guns are illegal in some states. It’s interesting to see stun guns are outlawed in many of the big cities where an individual would feel the need to carry a stun gun. Check to see if it’s legal in yours here
Find a self-defense class in your area here
Snap a pic of the perv and post at HollaBackNYC an organization dedicated to figuratively zapping these creeps. Oh, if only it could be done physically.
10. “And since a man can’t make one, [baby] he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one.”
My body. NOT yours. Thanks.
9. Not shutting up!
You can cause more harm by not quitting while you’re behind. You can win more battles by what you don’t say. If what is coming out of your mouth next borders on the unintelligible, PLEASE for the love of all that’s right in the world, just shut it!
8. Only dating the dregs of femalekind then lambasting ALL women as such
Slim Thug, I’m looking at you. I really can’t get offended anymore when men make these sweeping statements portraying all women in every negative light. I feel sorry for them because it speaks on how low they think of themselves to actually date and mate with these cretins.
Continue Reading The stupid BS some guys do…
Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!June 28, 2010 at 5:50 PM | Posted in Ah C'mon!, As A Man, Hear me ROAR!, Higher Definition | 7 Comments
Beeb was holding my hand. It was blazing hot on 125th street. I was disgruntled at the brunch menu at one restaurant and insisted the scant selections just wouldn’t do. In case you didn’t know. I eat. A lot. So we made our way to the car chatting and laughing. Suddenly, a deafening voice cut through our merriment. “YO!!!!! I gotta give your props son, and no disrespect either… I have to give you your props.” Hmmmm, you’re probably saying oh ok, he’s complimenting Beeb’s shirt or shoes. Yes, that would make perfect sense…he’s giving credit to another man on acquiring a great article of clothing. Nope, he’s talking about his other property, his woman. For the span of 40 seconds on that public Harlem sidewalk, I might as well had been as inanimate as clothing because to that guy, Beeb deserved respect for acquiring me. He was enjoying the display and wanted to give his due credit.
Our blank stares, wagging heads and newly brisk gait did nothing to deter his foul rhetoric. My ears bled. My blood boiled. We kept it moving. I joked how it sounded like the guy had a full megaphone set installed in his car, well actually his friends car, because he was on the passenger side. Of course. His despicable voice was loudly obnoxious. The entire block heard his offensive words, judging from the squinted foreheads and whiplashed necks. No doubt, I give Beeb credit for being an awesome person who happens to click with me, but his supposed “props” was based on misogynist principles. Didn’t that megaphone fool ever listen to Tupac?
“And since we all came from a woman,
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman…
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
Continue Reading Oh hi, while you were objectifying me, I just wanted to let you know, I can walk AND talk too! Sometimes, simultaneously!…
I have heard this mantra time and time again. It got me thinking, at what point does money trump integrity, morals and beliefs? At what point do we stop caring about what is right for what is green?
“Oh my Gawd, I can’t believe my former pastor is now a stripper.” Oh well, she making dat money.” HUH?
Editor’s Note: My friend was on facebook and found this little gem of perspective and enlightenment…
Inside my brain when I spot “pants on the ground”
Ewwww…You look like a scumbag. Why is your whole entire ass out? You don’t feel that draft? No? You don’t have a problem the thin material that is your underwear is feeble protection from the elements. Don’t you feel that cold germy subway seat on your ass? As a full grown man, you don’t care that everyone sees your underwear? Is it comfortable waddling like that all day? Do you feel cool reaching down to your ankles to grab your wallet? Do girls like that? Cuz I know women sure don’t.
Continue Reading Lookin’ like a FOOL with your pants on the ground…