Comments on: “Only about 3 percent of the 4,000 mammal species are monogamous (and Homo sapiens isn’t one of them)”

By: Why Mr. Big wouldn’t stand a chance « Dash of Reality

Why Mr. Big wouldn’t stand a chance « Dash of Reality — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:13:51 +0000

[...] to love herself before seeking out the countless men she begged to love her. I firmly believe love and making a relationship work is a conscious decision an individual makes. The mushy floating on air feeling is great too but other factors contribute to a [...]

By: The importance of having great girlfriends « Dash of Reality

The importance of having great girlfriends « Dash of Reality — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 12:33:30 +0000

[...] shaping the definition of womanhood?” Related: YES YOU CAN get rid of stretchmarks!!! Related: “Only about 3 percent of the 4,000 mammal species are monogamous (and Homo sapiens isn’t one of … Related: Why didn’t he call me back? Related: Free self-defense class for women in NYC [...]

By: dashofreality

dashofreality — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 23:52:49 +0000

LOL NO! It was directed at Harvard “Uh okay thanks for that nugget of wisdom Harvard. You kinda suck now.”

By: Dunni O.

Dunni O. — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 22:27:04 +0000

Ummm, I just need some clarification–is that sarcastic ass line at the end of your comment directed to me? #sideeye LMAO…No, I’m laughing, but I really wanna know. LOL (I hate you.)

By: dashofreality

dashofreality — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 17:11:06 +0000

Yes, definitely, the “free-will” part is the central idea of marriage and how it clashes with the “inherent” part, is what interests me about this topic. This is what makes marriage that much more serious to me. The idea that maybe monogamy isn’t inherent yet an institution which is built on it, is not revered as serious as it should be. Stats pretty much cancel themselves out when it comes to matters of free-will bc all these so-called “studies” all summate, everyone cheats….unless you don’t. Uh okay thanks for that nugget of wisdom Harvard. You kinda suck now.

By: Dunni O.

Dunni O. — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 19:59:32 +0000

I really hate that humans are compared to animals when it comes to monogamy (no shots at your piece, because it’s great). While animals may be used evaluate drugs before being placed in humans and may even be used to explain the “evolution of humans”, comparing humans to animals is not the “end all, be all” when trying to come up with an explanation for human actions. There’s no way in hell I’d except my man telling me he can not be faithful because the fish in the sea aren’t. Monogamy is a choice; why it fails is due to the individual, period.

The real issue with marriage and fidelity is the way it is viewed. Your marriage is only as strong and faithful as you allow it to be. The way marriage is viewed is probably the biggest predictor of how it will turn out. I believe marriage is a holy union (however, I do not believe marriage should be restricted to only those who believe in a higher power), but it isn’t merely a social construct/institution. Furthermore, marriage is WORK-the sh.t is hard, it’s not perfect and it takes dedication from both parties involved. I believe the vows you take before God are real and are to be upheld. There is nothing easy about that. Marriage isn’t supposed to be something you rush into and it’s not something you leave when times get hard. Like anything else in life, with marriage, your thoughts and approach to it will determine the outcome; if you think of it as a “come-up”, a way to get better health insurance, or something to do b/c all your friends are doing it, don’t be surprised if the resulting outcome isn’t favorable. That’s not to say that those who approach marriage with the thoughts of it being a holy union will live “happily ever after” either.

The other thing, I must say is that the generalizations, statistics, etc needs to be G-checked. People can’t continue saying “Well the odds are…” or “Well look how most people’s marriages end up nowadays”. Society can not continue to allow the numbers and odds dictate and justify the outcome of things in their lives. Society says I as a 25 year old black woman, should be uneducated, saddled with 2-3 children by 2-3 different men and on welfare. If I didn’t allow that to dictate my life why should I allow society to tell me monogamy is a thing of the past and my marriage has a 50% chance of failing?

By: Lost Plum

Lost Plum — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 16:44:32 +0000

wonderful post that really gets you thinking….

By: Toya R.

Toya R. — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 16:24:37 +0000

Im doing it so that my wedding is in Jet magazine and to put my children in debutante balls (uppity negro here!!). Seriously what separates humans from “animals” is free will and the ability for advanced thought (as far as we know). Everyday in a relationship/marriage a person has to make a decision. You will see men/women you find attractive and some of these people will approach you. But as humans we need to make the decision that we feel is right for us and that decision will affect your relationship for the good or bad. I will not accept that it is an uncontrollable urge that a grown man could not stop himself. Whatever vow I make before God, my family and friends I will honor and I expect him to also. So to sum it up he needs to put a ring on it (big one!!) and keep it in his pants when not with me.

By: dashofreality

dashofreality — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 15:52:42 +0000

@ Sioban @ Nandoism Thanks peeps! free will is the crux of this topic and the free will to be or not to be faithful. If you make the decision to enter a life-long commitment, fidelity should be included in that deal but oftentimes it is not.

@Tee Just dead at your whole entire response. But if one doesn’t desire to get married, they shouldn’t be forced just because their family or society wants it. That’s their call. There are tax benefits to getting married but that’s also a decision made by the couple. The wedding ceremony is superficial to the longevity and health of a marriage so it really means nothing.

By: Tee

Tee — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:48:41 +0000

hmm..yea

And if you get a ” life long partner” witout getting the certificate/ceremony, cheating still hurts feelings…..

i think marriage isn’t an institution alone, i think it’s apart of the religious institution. I have no clue why non-religious people have ceremonies..(it has nothing to do with you… mind your business)

and yeah marriage is absolutely providing a stable enviroment for children/family….and following GOD…nothing more

so… who cares wether you get married or not..?.. do it because your family wants to see it happen… do it because alot people do not respect a relationship that didnt come along with the ceremony.

dont do it because it’s expensive, and really sad to see a couple that had a beautiful wedding , not work out….

either way… i want my ring…